Cross My Heart
by But I Have Promises To Keep
Summary: Mal and Natara have two sons. Both are, undeniably, geniuses. But what happens when one becomes a murderer, and the other is the only one that can bring him to justice?
1. Traumatic Events

**Hey, so just as a AN (and I know I've said this for other stories and it hasn't been true) this will most likely only be updated every few days. I just wanna take my time with this, and honestly, my summer's been pretty crazy so far. (Also, it's just too hot to write). Also, the POV will most likely be changing throughout, and thats pretty much it. So, thanks for reading, and please review and let me know what you think?**

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**Prologue**

**_Matthew Fallon PoV_  
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"Mummy, can't you stay?" I cried.

"Matt, you know I can't". I remember her stoking the top of my head, fighting the losing battle it was to tame my natural cowlick.

"Natara" I could hear my dad call from somewhere just outside. He peeked his head in the door "we have to go".

"In a minute" she said, turning to him. I saw him glance at me, his blue eyes sparkling with love for me, his six-year-old son. He gave me a reassuring smile, and at that time I never felt so abandoned. Why did he have to go too?

"Why can't you stay?" I said quietly. I was looking at my father when I said this, but it was my mother who answered.

"You know why" she said softly. Her eyes shone with the same love as my dad's "there are bad people in the world, and it's me and daddy's job to make sure they don't hurt people like you and James".

She glanced back at my brother James, who was five at the time and only a year younger than me. It looked like she was expecting a goodbye from him, but he was preoccupied with a puzzle; which he seemed unable to figure out. It wasn't surprising, it was my puzzle and I still couldn't get it together. He didn't pay me or mum and mind, and kept working at it, his chin in his hand. Didn't he see that mum and dad were leaving? Didn't he understand? Maybe if he would have begged and cried, something I had never seen him do, they would have stayed. But of course, perfect little James did nothing of the sort. And all mum did was watch him for a moment, his face scrunched up in deep thought, as he went to place another peice.

"We'll be back soon" she said softly, squeezing my arm. It was something I had seen her do to my dad countless times, but somehow this was different. I felt like she was about to give me bad news. "Just go to sleep, and when you wake up, I promise daddy and I will be there" I nodded, and I could feel my eyes well up with tears. "Just do everything Lily says, and be nice to James".

I nodded. Lily was our babysitter, and even though she was just a teenager who wanted a summer job, she was fairly strict. With that as a goodbye, mum and dad left. Lily let me peer out the window until I couldn't see their taillights in the darkness anymore. When I was done I turned to James, and I saw that he had took apart his puzzle and turned all the pieces over so only the brown cardboard backs showed.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked.

"The picture's distracting".

I was just about to tell him he was weird when Lily told us to go to bed. James and I went into the bathroom to brush our teeth, and it was there that an idea struck me.

"Do you think mummy and daddy would still have to leave if there weren't any bad people?"

"I don't know".

I thought for a moment "I wanna help them catch bad people when I grow up, then maybe they wouldn't have to leave".

"Really?" James said after a moment. He may not have spoken much about it, but I know he wanted his parents to be home too.

"Yeah, just don't tell them, they might try and stop me. Promise you won't tell?".

"I promise"

"Cross your heart?".

I looked at him for a moment. Unlike me, he didn't inherit dad's eyes, but his were a replica of our mother's. The soft grey-brown color shone in with hope, and after a moment he said "Cross my heart".

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**Eleven Years Later**

"Come on, Fallon!".

My head snaps up as a whistle's blown, and the same was for the other eight boys. I'm crouched, lining my fingers up with the white line and waiting for the sound of the starter gun. It's just one hundred meters between me and victory, and just eight others that stand in my way. I know there are people cheering for me, people calling for me to succeed, but I block them all out. All that matters is the one-hundred meters of track just before me, and nothing else. I barely hear someone yell 'ready' and 'set', and it's only at the sound of the starter gun ringing in my ears that brings the world back in a rush. I had inherited my mothers height, making me tower over the other boys, and naturally my stride's are longer. In my peripheral vision I can see I can see I'm ahead of everyone…except for one other boy from another school. I push to get ahead, but the finish line is nearing and I know there isn't enough time to get ahead. As I near, I take a wild leap of desperation, nearly diving into the finish line. I feel something catch my hand as I go down, and my palm burns with pain. The skin of my palm splits open, hot blood pouring down my arm. There's a split second when there's total silence, then the whole stadium brakes out in a roar of victory. I smile, knowing that I've won.

"Are you crazy?" I hear a voice say. The girls track coach is standing over me, her mouth forming a distinct frown "you could have cracked your head open!".

Without another word she grabs my arm, half-dragging me off the track. She grabs a can of disinfectant spray and some bandages from a nearby first-aid kit, while several of the girls from the girls team watch. Without saying anything she starts spraying my hand, and sharp pain shoots through the quarter-sized tear in my skin.

"Dammit!" I cry without thinking, yanking back my stinging hand and holding it.

"Watch it Fallon. Hole in your hand or not, I will give you detention".

"Relax, Holly" I heard my track coach say cheerfully "Give the kid a break!".

She scowls at him, yanking back my hand and bandaging it roughly. "Just go home, Fallon" she snaps "I don't need you bleeding all over the place".

I obey without protest. It doesn't matter much anyways, the match is almost over. I cross back over the track, leaving campus and beginning my walk home. About half-way home I'm walking down the street, when I hear someone cry out. I look around for a moment, and then I see it. The sound came from a little old woman in an alleyway across the street, clutching her purse to her chest, as a man with a knife advances on her. I look around, but either no one notices her, or no one cares. Knowing what I'm about to do is either very brave or very stupid, I go out of my way to reach that alleyway. I step into the alley, but neither of them notices me. I'm almost tempted to leave while I still can, but what person with even an ounce of decency could just leave a woman like that?

"Please…" she pleads. The old woman's crying, but her attacker's still coming closer, clearly trying to take her purse without risking being hit with her cane.

"Come on lady, just hand it over and no one gets hurt…".

"Leave her alone" I say after a moment of building up confidence.

The woman's attacker looks up, but before he can do anything I lunge forward and punch him full-on in the face. It happens too fast for him to have reacted, and he staggers back, slashing blindly with his knife. He lunges towards me, but before he can even do anything I grab the hand holding the knife, pushing down and forcing the man to the ground. I yank the knife out of his hand, and as he tried to get up I keep punching him. I see the blood, hear the man cry out, but in the heat of the moment l hardly notice. When man goes still I stop, panting, and see what I have just done done.

"No…" I whisper, looking down at the beaten form before me. I had been holding the knife in such a way that every time I went to punch him I was actually stabbing him, and I hadn't even realized it. I glance up to the woman, who's mouth is open in utter horror. Without thinking, I turn on heel and sprint home, not even looking back. By the time I reached the front steps I'm already panting and shaking, and not because I had sprinted home. My hands are covered in blood, and a small amount has dribbled down the front of my shirt. I take out my key and unlock the door, then practically crash though it, slamming it shut behind me. How I managed to make it home without someone inquiring about the blood I will never know.

I stumble into the bathroom and wash my hands, trying desperately to scrub the blood from my shirt. It's a wonder no one stopped me on the street. The whole time I'm terrified that James might come downstairs to use the bathroom, or that mom and dad might come home early. But after a moment I relax, my breaths become even and my heartbeat comes back to a normal pace. Through all this I still feel a numb buzz of adrenalin course through my veins, as if I'd just been cheered on for winning a dozen races. I look up at the mirror, and see my own scared-looking reflection staring back at me. I may be only seventeen, but I could easily pass for a twenty year old. The blue eyes I inherited from my dad shine with insanity, and the soft brown hair I got from my mother is plastered down with sweat.

"Just calm down" I whisper to myself "he might not even be dead, and even if he is, how are they gonna pin it on you?".

I know what I've said is true as soon as I say it. I feel something in my pocket, and when I reach in I know it's the knife. Good, at least they don't have the murder weapon. I don't think anyone I know saw me, and hopefully the woman I saved will be grateful enough not to turn me in. The only thing I have to worry about is fingerprints and DNA, but there's nothing I can do about it now. If they get lucky enough to find anything, my fingerprints and DNA won't be in their databases. Still, I need to be careful for the next few days. If anyone asks where the bloodstains came from, I'll tell them it's from when I cut my hand. I look back up and smile, knowing that there's a good chance I'll get away with this. But still, I know, next time I'll have to be careful. Because there definatly will be a next time.


	2. Covered Tracks

**Hey! So just out of curiosity (and I know I'm probably behind since I'm a Now Airing player) did anyone else start hardcore raging at the end of this weeks episode? Anyways, Review Reply:**

**mozzi-girl: Thanks so much!**

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**Matthew Fallon PoV**

Calmly, I go back and wipe the blood that I had left on the doorknob. I search the house and make sure I left no other traces of myself behind, and finally go back in my room with the knife. I stare down at it for a long time. It's just a simple piece of metal, just an ordinary switchblade, but in less than a few minutes it had changed my life completely. It had shown me the light, proven to me that some people in this world deserve to die. Someday, when I'm praised for my work, this will become an artifact. I dive under my bed and search for the loose floorboard underneath, and wedge the knife under it. I'll find a better place for it later, but this will have to do for now. I crawl back out from under the bed, and as if on cue I hear the front door open, meaning mum and dad are home. I walk out to see them both holding Chinese take-out containers, the norm for a Friday night. A second later James come out, his usual bored-looking expression slapped across his face. He has the same build as me, but since he probably never even ran or held a ball by his own choice it's been neglected. He's not fat in any way, but he looks like a plant that wilted because it was never given any sun. It makes him look like a giraffe, or maybe a spider. At the same time his cat-like eyes have widened since we were kids, as if something surprised him and his face stuck that way. He always slouches, which he claims is so his height doesn't make people have to look up to him, but the only thing it really does is annoy his teachers. He sits down in his usual place across from me, but as usual, he looks down at the table as if it's the most interesting thing in the world. We start eating and most of the meal passes in silence. Once dad asks me what I did to my hand, and when I tell him it's because I dove to get in first, he beams with pride and doesn't say anything. I'm tempted to ask about the mugger I had killed, but stop myself just in time. I'm not even supposed to know about it yet, surely such information hasn't been disclosed to the public yet. For fear of giving myself away I excuse myself after dinner and go back to my room. I wait until the house grows silent, and just to be sure, I wait until it's nearly four in the morning until I silently creep out of my room and down the stairs. I can see my mum's laptop on the table, where she leaves it every night. I take it into the living room, sit on the couch with it and open it to find a password login screen. I look down at the keyboard, seeing that besides the vowel keys, the zero, one, two and three were more worn down than the others. Without hesitation I type in '2013', the year my parents got married, and a moment later the password screen disappears. First I go straight through the files, finding the most recently edited one was changed today. I open it up, and almost immediately pictures pop up on the screen. Every one is of the same man from today, the man that I killed. I feel slightly sick looking at it, and for a moment I can almost smell the scent of blood again. I take a brief moment to close my eyes, but compose myself and keep going. I scroll down to find no DNA was found on the body, no murder weapon was found and only useless partial prints were recovered. I can feel a smile creep up on my lips, they don't have anything on me. It even seems the old lady I helped got out of there before the cops came, because there's no report of a witness either. Before I put it away I start to skim over other files, every case my mother has ever been on, to see exactly how these killers were caught so I know what not to do. But when I see the method of how they killed their victims…I can't stop reading. Poison, electrocution, arson…every one something I know I could do with just a little practice. At first I can't look at the pictures, but after the first few documents I find out how much they add to the story. Yes, every single one of these killers are pure scum, but with the information from their files and a little time I could create a perfect world. If I could rid the world of criminals, I could create a perfect world for the innocent. I'll make a patchwork of killing methods, and eliminate anyone who gets in my way. After all, isn't that the job of the police? From these files I can see how many of them were killed by police, so if were I who killed them, what would be the difference? I can work above the law, and I'll be like the superhero's I used to read about in comics as a kid…only I'll be real. I'll be able to fix the world. I shut the laptop and put it in the exact place where I found it, creeping back up to my room. I dive under my bed and reach under the floorboard for the knife, and as I pull it up I can feel the blood that's dried all over it. I'll carry it with me, for now, but in time I'll find a more effective method of killing. After all, this knife was my beginning. I know people may try and resist at first, saying killing people is wrong, but I know they'll all come around in time. Everyone knows there are some people in this world who don't deserve to live. They, like me, just need to have their eyes opened. The police will probably oppose me for a while also, but in time I hope they will except me. After all, I am, and will continue to be, justice.

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**Please please review?**


	3. Phone Calls

**Just as an A.N. I most likely won't be won't be writing in James PoV that much, because honestly Matt's more fun to write for :) Review Replies:**

**Oryt: Thanks so much! Matt is 17, and James is 16.**

**Composition Mills: Thanks so so much! That seriously made my day when I read that! Thanks a lot!**

**mozzi-girl: Thanks!**

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**James Fallon**

I never sleep at night. My mum says it's just because I'm a "night owl", but I know why I really do it. Being the child of two cops, I'm completely paranoid, and I know it. I sleep when I come home from school, and I stay up all night and while I'm at school. I've been told I always look like I'm tired, but I've found I don't really have time to feel anything, let alone tired.

At some point, a time when I was so young I probably didn't even notice the change, mum and dad arranged for me to skip a grade. Because of the age difference, I'm in the same grade as Matt. In only a few days our Junior year finals will take place, and I'm more worried about it than him. Most of my nights are consumed with studying, mainly because I have to prove something. There are other kids who skipped a grade like me, and every single one of them quickly fell behind. I'm determined to make myself different, to earn my place at whatever college would accept a younger student like me. Sometimes it feels like the whole world's watching me, just waiting for me to fail. But I'll prove them wrong, and I can't wait until the opportunity arises for me to show people what I can do.

But in the past week, I've had bigger things to worry about, as mum and dad have been at work increasingly often. Mum was always behind me, since she was the one who insisted I move up a grade, but recently that's all changed.

I can remember when I was little, and she would tell me how she used to be with the FBI. When I was only four, and she and dad would alternate taking off to watch me as I was too young to go to school, she would take me out "people watching". But instead of how most people did it, just watching others as they walked by, she made a game of it. All it took was for her to glance at someone, perhaps hear them talk, and she would point to them and say "she was a middle child" or "he has a daughter at home". Of course, she didn't know these people, but she knew how to figure these things out. Soon I learned the things to look for too, and that's where the game came from. We would see how much we could tell from someone who was just walking down the street. Of course, there was no way to know if we were right, but I enjoyed it all the same.

Those days are over. We haven't gone "people watching" since I was little, but she's always there just to make sure I'm drowning in schoolwork. She knew Matt did okay, but me being younger than him, she just wanted to be sure with me. I never really need any help, but I still miss her asking. She hasn't for over a week now, since last Friday. Last Friday, a man had been found dead in an alleyway. It was taken for a mugging gone wrong, but it had progressed to be more. Every single day, another person is murdered in a different and increasingly more complex way. Stabbings and arson fires are spreading around the city, and from what I can tell there have been no leads. The only connection that's been found was each victim had been either awaiting trial, a former convict or a suspect in some sort of criminal offense. It's beginning to take it's toll on my parents, and over the past week my mum and dad are at work so much I've barely seen them. Now it's Friday again, and when Matt and I returned to school on Monday out exams will begin. But I can't take them like this! Every night mum and dad come home so late, the first time they came home at such an early hour I feared someone was breaking into our home. I'm always on-edge now, fearing one day I'll get a call that one of them got shot, or that one of them was found dead in a ditch somewhere.

When night comes I wait until they come home, and after the house fills with silence I creep down the stairs. Every night mum leaves her laptop on the table, and tonight is no different. I opened it up, and it doesn't take me long to look at the worn keys and figure out the password was the year she got married. Luckily, I don't even have to look for the file, because she must have still had it up when she shut it down for the night. I look through everything that had happened over the past week, and I quickly find a pattern. They may not have left any DNA, fingerprints or witnesses, but I didn't need any of that.

All the murders occurred between the times of five o'clock PM to three o'clock AM, except for Saturday and Sunday, on which days they seemed to have been chosen at a random times. According to these times, if this pattern continued, it means the killer could possibly be a student, teacher, or someone who would have to follow the schedule of a school. Of the seven victims, the last one being being so recent there wasn't much information, only two were only suspects in an investigation. Both suspects names, according to the files, were never disclosed to the public. This means the killer is either involved with the police, close to someone who is, or an accomplished hacker.

I stand up, excited to tell my parents everything I know, but I stop myself. How would I explain to them that I know this? I couldn't go telling mum that I hacked into her computer, she'd be furious. After a moment of utter disapointment, knowing that everything I had figured out was useless, I put mum's laptop away and head back upstairs.

* * *

The next morning I'm alone. Mum and dad have to work again, and like most weekend days, Matt's out with friends most of the day. In the day I normally would have spent sleeping in and studying, I find myself obsessing about the case. I know I won't be able to put my mind at ease until I figure something out, and I start to consider placing an anonymous phone call. But even that's dangerous, I didn't know much about computers and phones, and I'm sure to mess it up. But I could easily get a disposable cell phone, only put a few minutes on it and use it to place my call. I reach under my desk for the envelope taped to the bottom, which is filled with the emergency money I had been saving for a long time. To be safe, I make sure no one else is home, so I'm sure no one will be here to see me leave. Afterwards I head out to the small convenience store around the corner from my home and purchase a disposable cell phone, only putting twenty minutes on it. I make sure to walk a few blocks away from the store before I call the police station, which is a number that at this point I know by heart.

"Hello?" an unfamiliar voice says.

My breath goes cold in my throat, and I can feel my palms sweating. I had thought, or maybe hoped, that my mother or father would answer. Sure, I would have to disguise my voice, but for some reason I don't think I'll be able to face talking to a complete stranger. Without saying anything I run into a nearby telephone booth, closing the door behind me and taking a handful of fabric from the collar of my shirt, holding it to my mouth.

"I'd like to speak to Detective Fallon" I manage to choke out. I had attempted to lower my voice slightly, but I know it sounded fake. It doesn't really matter anyways though, my voice is muffled and changed enough just from the fabric I hold to my mouth.

"Which one?"

"Either…" I say quickly. I'm almost tempted to give up at this point. I can't do this! I just can't!

"Hold on, just a moment, sir".

I want to hang up so badly, but I'm frozen in fear. I know that I'm shaking, and the fistful of fabric I'm holding to my mouth is soaked with sweat from my palm.

"Hello?"

I nearly drop the fabric of my shirt. I completely forget about the anxiety that had overtaken me for a moment, because I know this voice. My mother has answered the call.

Before she can answer I ramble off everything I know, careful to choose my words carefully and keep my voice disguised so she can't tell it's me. She doesn't interrupt, and I tell her all about how I know the killer is most likely involved in a school, and how they probably have a connection to the police or they're an accomplished hacker. When I'm done, there's a long and awkward pause.

"Thank you" she says "we'll be sure to look into everything you've told us". I know from her tone she has no idea who I am. Her voice is filled with a tone of upmost professionalism, and she speaks to me in a way I've never heard before. "Can I get your name, sir?".

"No" I say quickly.

"But if we need to talk to you again…". I know from her tone she's trying to coax me into it. I recognize the tone from when I was little and she would tell me to put my toys away.

"I'll contact you"

"How will you know if we need to reach you?"

My heart pounds, and I barely manage to stutter "I—I'll just know".

Without another word I hang up, shoving the phone in my pocket and stumbling back onto the street. I know something's off as soon as I get back outside, and it only takes me a moment to figure out someone's watching me. There's a dark-haired girl, eighteen at the most, staring at me from across the street. Her eyes are wide, and as soon as she sees that I've spotted her she immediately heads in my direction. I panic and walk as fast as I can into the nearest crowd of people, trying to lose her in the crowd. After a few blocks I look everywhere for her, but she's not anywhere to be found. I shrug it off and head home, since it's possible I'm just being paranoid. On my way home, I don't see the girl again. But I make sure to lock the door behind me as soon as I get home, because I still have the feeling I'm being watched. But no sooner than I go upstairs did I hear the familiar sound of my brothers voice. When I look out my window I can see him standing on the steps leading to the front door, talking to a girl around his age. At first I think it's the girl who was watching me earlier, but this girl is blonde, and I recognize her from school. Matt's speaking to her seriously, and it looks like she's angry at him.


	4. Lucky Child

******Sorry for any confusion, there was an error and I had to upload this chapter twice.**

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**BreezyFan: Thanks so much! Yeah, a lot of people have been saying that about James…but to be honest making him appear that way was an accident O.o the puzzle thing is just something I added to use later.**

**Oryt: Thanks a lot! Hehe "mint"…haven't heard that too often :) I was actually just on Google and found (well, I might have been looking… ) a picture that looks like James…want me to post it so you can see?**

**mozzi-girl: thanks so much! **

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**Matthew Fallon**

"Matt, wait!" I whip around, seeing the same girl who's been silently tailing me for the past ten minutes. I know her from school, though I don't know her well. Sayu I think her name is. I stop, letting her catch up, but when she reaches me she says nothing. I'm not surprised by this, she's been following me in complete silence for a while now, as if trying to build up the confidence to speak to me. We walk in silence for a while, and it's obvious she's going to follow me home. I can't say that I enjoy her company, but I don't mind it either. Eventually I reach the front steps to my home, and just before I walk up she rests a hand on my shoulder to stop me. I turn around and face her. She's over a head shorter than me, and I have to look down to see her face. Her golden-blonde hair is boyishly cut, and under the tufts of her bangs I can see her large Carmel-colored eyes shine.

"Look at me" she barely whispers. I do what she says without question, and for a moment our eyes meet. Her mouth splits into a smile "I knew it! It's you, Matt!".

"What's me?" I say, trying to sound amused. But I can feel panic rising in my throat. How could she know? How could anybody know? I was so careful!

She rises to her full height, which isn't much taller than she is originally, and says "Don't play dumb" her eyes sharpen "Last week, you rescued a woman from a mugger. That woman was my grandmother".

"What makes you think it was me?".

"Please, my grandmother is half-blind. The only feature of her rescuer she could see was that they have piercing blue eyes. 'Like tiny blue lights shining from a blurry figure' was how she described them. And who else in this town has eyes like those, Matt?".

I just stare at her. How can I argue with that? The truth is, my father is the only other person with my eyes that I know of. All I can do now is hear her out, then beg her not to turn me in. "What do you want, Sayu?".

"Oh, nothing" she says, and her eyes soften. "You have my full support, and your secret is safe with me". She leans forward and touches my face softly. As bad as I want to slap her hand away, how could I? I can't offend her in any way, she could change her mind.

"There is, just one thing…"

"That you want" I finish for her.

"That I need, sweetie" she says. Her eyes sharpen once again, and her face is contorted with anger, but at the same time her voice is soft. "I've been watching you, Matt, and not just in school. I know what you've been doing. There's a reason I live with my grandmother, and that reason is that my parents were killed in a robbery-gone-wrong when I was little". She leans in closer, standing on her toes so her face is only inches from mine. "The people who did it walked free, since there wasn't enough evidence against them" she pauses "I want you…to kill them".

I just stare at her. I had expected something along these lines, but she needs to know something about the people I kill. "Are you certain about the people who killed your parents? That it's really them?".

"Yes" she says "I picture their faces every night. I remember how scared I was, and how sparing me wasn't an act of mercy" her voice drops to a whisper "it was to make sure they left someone behind so they were never forgotten. I'm nothing more than a footprint left behind".

I keep staring her down, unable to say anything. Everyone I've killed so far only committed small crimes, mainly theft and assault. But murder? Sure, I'm strong, but what if they overpowered me?

"Sayu, I don't know about this…" I start, trying to dissuade her. But before I can finish she slaps me across the face. Not hard, but I can feel her long nails catch my cheek.

She looks angry, and her voice is shaking. "Remember, you're the hunter, not them" she says darkly. She stares me down for a moment, and anger boils inside me. How can I let a little thing like this push me around? I could slit her throat so easily…

"Tonight" she says "meet me in front of the school, 8:30. Don't be late".

And with that she stomps off, not even looking back at me as she crosses the street and joins the passing crowd.

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I stare in the direction in which she left for a long time after she's gone. The thoughts I had about killer her completely disappear, it's too risky, and I can't take an innocent life. Plus, who knows? She could be of use to me later. After a few minutes I head inside, but unlike what's normal, James isn't in his room. He's sitting on the couch, watching TV. I can probably count how many times I've seen him do this on one hand, considering he tends to shut himself away from the rest of the world.

"Who was that?" he asks quietly.

"Who?" I ask, playing dumb.

"I thought I heard you talking to someone outside, just now".

"You must have heard wrong" I say, perhaps a little too forcefully. He stares at me suspiciously, and all I can do is hope that Sayu's slap didn't make a mark. Does he know I'm lying? Did he see me? I push this thought away, of course he doesn't know anything. And even if he does, for all he knows it was nothing more than two people talking.

He nods towards the TV "Did you see this?".

I look at the screen. There's a newscast on, and I had seen one similar to it earlier. It was about me, or more so, the other me. Ever since I had started killing, I feel like I'm living a double life. One where I'm a hero on the track team, the other where I'm a hero in real life "Yeah" I sink down next to him on the couch.

"How long do you think it'll be until they catch him?".

"I don't know, but I wouldn't worry about it. It looks like only criminals are dying".

"And why should that mean we should be any less worried?" he says. He's looking at me now, and I avoid his gaze. I feel like I'm a child again, and mom's staring at me as if I've given the wrong answer to a question. "A human life is a human life. Everyone has a past and a future, they can change".

"No one can change, at least, not in the way you're thinking" I say "All I'm saying is that maybe this guy is right. What he's doing…isn't it justice?".

James just looks at me, and I can see a slight flicker of disappointment his face. "I guess to answer your question, you must first ask yourself what you believe justice really is".

I look away from him, sick of his philosophical questions. Does he have to be so cryptic? Oh well, soon he will realize that I am justice. Him and the rest of the world. Suddenly he turns the TV off, and I realize it's because the broadcast is over.

"Matt, before mum and dad get home…their's something I need to tell you".

I stare at him. For first time that I've seen, James looks nervous. He bites his bottom lip, and although he's sitting he seems to shift his weight a little bit. I glance down at my watch, it's almost four o'clock. I'll need to start 'preparing' to leave soon.

"Out with it James" I snap impatiently.

When he finally speaks, he does so quickly, as if saying it faster makes it easier on him. "I've been looking into the case mum and dad have been on myself. I found certain…information, and I placed an anonymous call to the police station this morning, and told them everything I knew".

"Do mum and dad know?"

"No, I disguised my voice. No one knows but you".

I don't meet his eyes, I'm afraid if I do I'll feel like he's peering into my very soul. "Why are you telling me this?".

"Because you're my brother, and I trust you more than anyone else" he says quietly. Now I look up, but his gaze is fixed on the floor. What's he playing at? Why's he telling me that he trusts me? This isn't like James, and I know he's getting at something.

"It's also because…I suspect you of being the killer on the news".

I stand up, but I'm barely aware I'm doing so. My heart is hammering inside my chest, and all I manage to blurt out is "I thought you said you trust me! I'm your brother!".

"I do, and you are" he says slowly, his voice back to it's normal level of calmness "and that's exactly why I don't want to believe that you could be a killer. But you're a student and the child of two people involved in law enforcement. Plus, let's face it, you leave the house at odd hours".

"How do you—?"

"You're the only suspect I have now, Matt. And you're only that, and nothing more".

"I can't believe this!" I cry, and I don't need to pretend to be distressed "Please, tell me what I need to do to prove my innocence!".

"If you are innocent, it will be clear to me soon. Nothing you could do would speed up the process" he says quietly.

"How do you know I won't tell mum and dad about this, huh?" I challenge, desperate for leverage.

"Oh, I'm certain you won't do that. Of course, it would be your own choice. Telling them would be bad for me, but it's not the end of the world. I hope to anonymously make contact with the police about working with them soon. I could still work with them, even if everyone knew, but what would it look like for you? They'd know I suspect you. They might arrest you, and think about what that would do to you school-wise. Not to mention the toll it would take on mum and dad".

I turn and look at him in disbelief. "You sound just like mum".

"You make that sound like a bad thing". James rises from where he's still sitting and crosses the room to me. "I'm only telling you this so if I'm wrong, I don't mess up your life. You're my brother, but I still consider you a good friend".

Without even looking at him, I grab my jacket and walk right out the front door. I don't look back. I'll be early to meet Sayu, but I need to get away from James. I'm afraid my face will give me away.

* * *

**James Fallon**

I stand for a moment as Matt walks away. I know I've hurt him, but it's for the best. If he's innocent, all I can do is hope for forgiveness. But if he's guilty, and despite my feelings my first instinct is that he is, then I might as well start the mind games now. That's what it's all going to come down to. Who's smart enough to stay alive, this killer, or me? Of course, I'll need a backup. If I'm killed…I need to be sure I don't die in vain. If he's innocent, it'll be Matt. If he isn't…

The sound of someone knocking at the door pulls me out of my thoughts. At first I think it's Matt, that he's come back, but the lighter knock suggests tinier fists pounding at the door. I open the door, and standing before me is a girl. I don't know her, but she looks familiar…

I realize with a jolt this is the girl from this morning, the one who had been staring at me while I called the police station. I know it is, I would remember a face like hers. She looks about eighteen. Her features are distinctively plain, and her skin is like porcelain. Her lips are pale, and her eyes are a light grey-blue, giving her the appearance of a china-doll who's features have been worn away with time. Her hair is dark brown and pulled into a loose bun, and she wears a sweatshirt that's too large for her and a pair of worn trainers. She's not ugly, but no one could call her pretty either.

Before I can ask who she is she says very quickly "I've been watching you. I know who you are, and I know what you've been doing". She pauses, and her eyes stare at me hungrily "Your name is James Fallon, and you are the one who called the police station this morning". She looks at me again, and our eyes meet. Her eyes seem to search for something in mine, but before I can tell if she's found what she's looking for she looks away. "I have been waiting my whole life to meet you, or more accurately your mother".

She reaches out her hand to shake mine, but I'm too shocked to take it. How does she know all this? I was so careful to cover my tracks! "Who are you?" I stutter.

"My legal name is Dawn Mikami, but my birth name is Dawn Potter. My mother's name was Monica Potter. When I was only seven months old…your mother saved my life".

_**To be continued…**_

**Kudos to anyone who remembers who Monica Potter is! (hint: Volume 2 chapter 5; Missing Persons part 1)**_**  
**_


	5. Revenge and Repayment

**Review Replies:**

**mozzi-girl: Thanks so much! I was worried no one remembered Monica!**

**Oryt: Thanks a lot! And great minds think alike I suppose! Anyways, I did find pictures of all the characters, but I'm going to try and figure out this new 'image upload' thing before I put them up. Hopefully technology-impaired me can figure it out, so look for them soon!**

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

It's only a ten minute walk to school, but I'm sure to take the long way so I don't end up idly waiting for Sayu. I just hope she knows what she's doing, and is prepared for it, because I can't let any idiot follow me around. I can't go back and get the precautionary things I use, such as gloves, because surely James is still there. Still, this will be a true test for Sayu. If she knows what she's doing, then I will allow her to assist me in the future. Then we will share in the glory of protecting the innocent. If she shows the slightest hesitation, makes even the smallest mistake, I may have to dispose of her. It's not ideal, since I've always made a point of protecting the innocent people around my victims at all cost, but it's for the greater good. After a half and hour of wandering aimlessly, I go back home and silently obtain my bike from outside. I fear James might look out the window and see me, but for whatever reason he doesn't. Before he spots me I grab my bike, deciding I might as well head for the library. No one would give me an odd look for going there, since unlike my grade-obsessed brother I haven't studied for finals at all. I end up finding the books I need quickly, although I know I won't use them, and end up walking around in circles as if lost for the longest time. When it begins to get dark I replace the books on the rack without checking them out, figuring it would be unwise the take them with me. By the time I get to the school I'm still a half and hour early, but Sayu's already there and either doesn't notice or care that I'm early. I know right off the bat she must have been watching me, because I see she has her bike also. I always bring my bike rather than walking or driving, because walking isn't fast enough and a car attracts too much attention; especially if it's early in the morning or late at night. Also, a bike can be easily ditched or ridden off road should I need to make a quick get away. As I pull up she gives me as sharp look, as if I'm late rather than early, but smiles all the same. Attached to the back of her bike is what looked like a picnic basket, and as I approach she opens it up so I can see inside.

Recently, I found out it was for the best if I made things look like an accident. I would wait around where whoever I was pursuing lived, then when they came out I would go in for the kill. If I used this method, I could wear gloves and cover my face and it would look like nothing more than a mugging, for I usually took their wallet and disposed of it later for good measure. This ensured that no one that they lived with, who were usually innocent, were harmed. If they lived alone, I had found arson was the best way. Since it was summer and most people kept their windows open during the night, all it took was a simple flame on a curtain, and the whole house was gone. Since Sayu said she had been watching me, I had figured she would follow in my footsteps and do the same as me. But all that's inside are cleaning supplies; and in the faint light of the streetlights nearby I can see it's ammonia and bleach. I know right away what she's planning to do, but why this way? It's unlikely to work, as the man whom she's after will probably just leave the house to avoid the gas. Also, from the way she had spoken earlier, I assumed she wanted to see the death of her parents killers first hand.

"I don't wanna stay" she says quietly "I can't watch, you'll see…" she pauses for a second, as if she's forgotten what she wants to say "You'll see why when we get there".

Without another word she closes the basket and gets on her bike, and I mimic her. She goes ahead of me through the dark streets, and after about a mile she stops in front of the entrance to a gated community. I know of this place, it's a small community made up entirely of people over fifty. At first I thought she was just looking and would move on, but to my surprise she gets off her bike and grabs the basket. I followed behind her. It's easy enough to get past the "gate". It's nothing more than a metal bar for keeping cars that don't belong out, and we both slip under it easily. I follow Sayu through the small development, as she seems to know where she's going, and neither of us say anything the entire time. It doesn't take long until she turns and walks right through someone's yard. It's no wonder she picked this time rather than early in the morning, most of the people in this community probably go to bed earlier than most. I follow her to the back, where she climbs onto the rotting porch and bends down to pick the lock of the front door. She grabs what looks like a long metal wire from her back pocket, and pulls the cloth from her long sleeve shirt over her hands so she doesn't leave prints. After a moment she manages to pick the lock. I have to hand it to her, I haven't even dared to kill someone in their home yet. This could be very stupid if her to do, and could end up getting us both caught, but I'm just going to wait and see what she does for now. It could help me later on, and I know that I'll have to end up taking this risk at some point. Might as well do it now and learn something. I watch as she gets up and removes her trainers, so she's standing before me in her socks. I imitate her, knowing she's doing so as not to risk leaving dirty footprints. I might as well let her take the lead on this, so I can see what she can do and what she's capable of, and know how much I can rely on her in the future. Leaving her shoes outside she walks in, but in no way is she quiet.

In fact, as soon as we're inside she whispers to me "There were three, three men that were responsible for the death of my parents. Two are dead of natural causes, I can't let the last get off that easy. He lives here; alone. A nurse usually comes and stays to make sure nothing happens durning the night—" in the semidarkness I can see her smile at me with the air of a child who just learned to ride a bike "—but she got a surprise call saying she has off tonight. So it's just us, and him".

She doesn't bother trying to make her steps light either, and anyone would be able to listen and know we're here. The basket is still around her arm as she leads me past a small kitchenette, and she has a certain confidence in her step as if she knows exactly where she's going. She turns the corner, and in the darkness I can see what looks like a fold-out bed in the darkness. There's a man lying on it, but he doesn't move. It's dark, but I can see the gleam of his wide and fearful eyes staring at us.

"Who's there?" he calls, his voice shaking.

Without hesitation Sayu walks over, her shoeless feet only making faint footfalls on the carpet. "Look at me" she says harshly. The man, mostly out of fear I presume, does what she says. "Look at me, and tell me you don't know who I am".

The man stares at her a long time. I don't know how he could possibly see her in the dark, so it's not a surprise when he says very quietly. "I don't. I don't know you".

Sayu's silhouette is practically shaking in anger, and I reach out and grab her arm to make sure she doesn't do something stupid like strike him. If she did, she could leave a print. She seems to take this as an act of affection though, and looks back at me, her face softening quickly before she turns back to the man.

"Think for a minute!" she says in a loud whisper "Nine years ago, what did you do?".

The man doesn't answer for a moment, and finally he says "Little Sayu Kagami, never thought I'd hear from you again".

If it weren't so dark, I'm sure I would find that Sayu's face is red with anger. I wish I could have prevented him finding out who she is, but what's done is done. There's no way anyone could connect me to any of this to me, unless Sayu told them, which I doubt. Everything she does can only hurt herself. "I've finally come back for you. And I'm not alone. You're one of the people this would could do without…you're filth. And when you, and all the other monster like you are gone, this world with be a perfect refuge for the innocent and kind". She stops for a moment, and without looking at me she opens the basket. I grab one of the bottles, I don't know which, and she takes the other. "I've come to kill you. To dispose of you".

Without hesitation she opens and pours out the contents of the bottle onto the floor. I know it's the ammonia because of the heavy smell of rotten eggs that quickly causes my eyes to burn. She steps out of the way, letting me stand by the large puddle of ammonia so I can pour my bottle over it. Before I do I get a good look at the man before me. He's very old, which I know is a stupid thing to think. He doesn't move, but stares up at me with pure hatred. I notice that he doesn't move his neck, but rather looks at me in the corner of his eyes; he's paralyzed from the neck down. My hands shake, and I know that I can't do this. How can I take life from someone who has so little? It's like stealing from a poor man!

"Do it!" I hear Sayu say, but I freeze. What have I even been doing for the past week? I'm just a kid! I can't do this!

Sayu must be getting impatient with me, because she takes the top off the bottle for me, waiting for me to do the simple act of twisting my wrist to pour. What have I gotten myself into? I'm not justice! I have no right to judge who should live, and who shouldn't!

"Dammit, Matt!" she says impatiently, grabbing my hand and forcing me to turn my wrist. The bleach pours onto the floor, and almost immediately I can hear the two liquids fizz as they combine. The whole room is almost immediately filled with the harsh scent of chlorine, and Sayu grabs me by the wrist and drags me out before either of us inhales too much gas. She makes sure to use her sleeve-covered hand to do things such as opening doors, and before I know it we're in the fresh air again. She puts her shoes back on, and I do the same. I'm not aware that I'm still holding the bottle, but she takes it from me and places it back in the basket, along with the other one and the two caps. I numbly follow her away from the house, and I don't even care to check that she brings the basket with so we can dispose of the evidence later. She does, but I hardly care. How could I have done that? What kind of animal have I become? As we walk Sayu whispers something, it sounds like a prayer, but I can't hear her properly.

"It's done, Matt" she says when she's done with her little prayer. "One down, who knows how many more to go".

A sudden realization hits me. What I'm doing is right, I am justice. I'm doing this for the innocent, so I can create a world of the kind. "This is just the beginning, Sayu" I say eventually "look around, there are plenty of people in this world we could do without. I'm not afraid to kill, it's for the greater good".

"And I'm with you the whole time" she says quietly. We reach the gate again, and after we go under it we both grab out bikes. "I'll tie a rock to the basket and throw it in the ocean on the way home" she says. With that as a goodbye, she goes one way home, myself the other. My brief moment of self-doubt eats at me, but I keep reminding myself that what I'm doing is right. It must have been the fumes caused those thoughts, but now that I'm back nothing can stop me. Not even James. This is nothing more than a game, and eventually it'll come down to just me and him. Who's will is greater, who is right? When I reach home I immediately chain my bike up outside. The light to the living room is on, and I suspect it's because James is still waiting for me. But I hardly care. It's time for the games to begin.

* * *

**James Fallon**

Dawn stares at me for a moment, and I just stand there, utterly shocked. Mum never told us about her old partner, Shawn, or why she has a faint scar on her shoulder, but I know more than she thinks. I found out when I writing a paper for career day when I was little; she was all over the paper. I didn't know what the baby's name had been changed to, but I recognized the name 'Monica Potter'.

"Why…why don't you come in?" I stutter like an idiot. She very timidly does so, and I motion for her to sit down. She sets a messenger bag, which I hadn't noticed she had earlier, beside her and sits.

"How did you find out I'm the caller?" I ask nervously. If this girl could figure it out, who else could?

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. It's a long story, and I'll explain later. I wouldn't have found out if I wasn't watching you anyways, trying to build up the nerve to approach your family".

"Why didn't you go after my brother, Matt? He's closer to your age. He's seventeen and you're…".

"Nineteen" she finishes for me. "And Matt's too well-known. I did tail him for maybe one day over two weeks ago, but too many people know him from his track record. It would be harder to get him alone, where as you didn't really make a name for yourself, other than being Matt's brother. No offense".

"None taken" I say eventually.

I hear someone unlock the door, and naturally I tense in slight fear. After a moment the door opens, and I can see my mum walk in. She just stares at me and Dawn for a moment, and I can imagine what's going through her head. I've never even shown an interest in any girl before, and here I am, bringing one home to possibly meet her.

Before I can come up with a quick cover-up Dawn stands, walking over and holding out her hand for my mother to shake. "It's lovely to finally meet you Mrs. Fallon" she says in a sugar-coated voice that's so unlike her regular one. "I'm Dawn, Dawn Mikami. James's best friend".

She looks at her, as if expecting that she would know her. That possibly she made a point of finding out the fate of the little girl she saved so long ago.

"You're James's friend…?" she says, clearly slightly confused. It's not surprising, the age difference between us is obvious.

"Yes, we met in school. I haven't seem James since I graduated, and my parents and I are on holiday here, so I thought I'd drop by. I hope I'm not intruding".

"No, No…it's fine" she says kindly. She glances at me, a sly grin on her face. I know from this look that we'll be talking about this later. She glances at the clock. "But it's pretty late, do you need a ride home?".

"Oh, I hate to ask you to drive me to where my parents are staying. I took a bus here, and my hotel is over an hour away!".

She shoots a glance at me, as if it's my fault Dawn chose a hotel so far away. But I know what Dawn's doing. She needs to speak to me again, and is hoping my mum will offer for her to stay for the night.

"Mum, why doesn't Dawn stay here?" I suggest, crossing the room to them both.

If it wasn't so late at night my mum might have protested, but it's clear she's too tired to do so. "If you call your parents and then say its okay, then you can stay in the guest room, Dawn".

I smile at her, and she weakly returns it. That alone shows how much my mum trusts me, most parents wouldn't allow an older girl claiming to be their son's best freind to stay the night.

"Thank you so much!" Dawn says, possibly a little too enthusiatly "If there's anything I can do to repay your kindness—".

"Don't worry about it" she says to her. She then turns to me "Your father's staying late, he should be home in a few hours. Is Matt home?". I shake my head. She hardly needs to ask, Matt's what she would call 'a social butterfly'. "If he's not back in an hour call his cell phone, and if he doesn't pick up wake me up. I'm going to try and get some sleep for once".

"Okay. 'Night mum".

As soon as she's out of earshot I whisper to Dawn "That was a great performance just now".

She gives a short mocking bow. "It takes practice. Thanks for the assist. I've been sleeping on the streets for the last few days, some jerk stole my wallet and my phone. I've been carrying everything I have left in that bag" she nodded to the bag on the couch.

"So you ran away from home? Did you even have enough money in the first place?"

"Sorta. My parents are both computer programmers, so we're pretty rich. Getting money wasn't a problem. They both had to go to some two-month conference in Japan, and I stayed here since I take college night-classes. But I'm done for this year now, and have another month until they come home, so I figured I might as well come here. I've been waiting to meet you guys since I was two".

"So why didn't you tell my mum who you are?".

"It's just…not the right time. Besides, now that I know what you've been up to, I intend to help. I completely agree with you, ever since I heard about these murders I wished I could do something".

I stare at her. Could she be the one? The one to take over if Matt's guilty and I end up getting myself killed? She's clearly a bright girl, but can I trust her?

"You know by doing this…it might come to putting your life on the line. I'm chasing someone without a name or a face, and it's possible they may try and kill anyone who gets in their way".

"Please, I live for stuff like this. I'm in the most boring family on earth, I could use a little adventure".

* * *

**I might not get around to uploading for a few days, so I'm going to attempt to write a preview for the next chapter:**

**_How far will James go to prove his brother's innocence? And will Matt finally be caught when James and Dawn make a daring move? Also, James had a heart-to-heart with the child Natara saved!_  
**


	6. The Lives We Lead

**Sorry for the late update! The past few days have been so hectic for me! I did get look-alike pictures for the characters, so if you're interested it's the cover picture for the story. Anyways, review replies:**

**mozzi-girl: Thanks so much! I'm going to try and have a mix of both PoV in each chapter!**

**Breezy-Fan: Thanks so much! **

**The Zebra Detective: Thanks a lot! Yeah, a lot of people have said that about James…even though I wasn't even trying to do that lol. **

**PhobePhorever: Thanks a lot! Heh…is now the time to reveal I used to have a little crush on Reid from Criminal Minds? :D Yeah, I have a thing for geniuses too. Anyways, thanks so much!**

* * *

**James Fallon**

Almost as soon as my mother has gone Matt walks in. He keeps his head down, not looking me in the eyes. I don't blame him, and a part of me aches to see him avoid my gaze like that. Will he ever forgive me if I'm wrong? The only way I can think of to make this up to him is to prove his innocence…but how can I do that if I'm not entirely sure he's innocent myself? Luckily Dawn's not here to introduce herself as he walks in, because I'm not sure what Matt might have done if she was. I had shown her where our small guest room was, which was usually only used when the aunt on my mother's side visited, and she had gone to the bathroom to "get the street smell off". For a brief moment, just before he heads upstairs, Matt glances at me and out eyes meet. His face is mask-like, as if he's trying to hide whatever feeling he has towards me. Is he angry? Hurt? I don't know, because before I can get a better look he heads upstairs without saying a word. I don't pursue him. Part of me thinks I should, because in a way I feel like I've lost part of him. Like I don't even know him any more. But another part of me, weather it's the sensible part or not, keeps rooted to the spot. I lean up against the wall, feeling more overwhelmed than I have in my life. Why couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut? Why did I have to go snooping in my mum's computer? Look at where it's landed me! There's a stranger in my house, my own brother won't look me in the eyes and I've hardly studied for finals at all!

After a few minutes Dawn emerges from the bathroom. Her hair is slightly damp, and now that it's down I can see it hits her just under her shoulders. She looks nicer with it down, the darkness of her hair contrasts with her eyes and makes them seem more blue than grey. For the first time I realize how tired she looks, and I can't imagine how many problems she must have had in the last few days. As she walks by me to the guest room she grabs my upper arm and gives it a slight squeeze, but doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to, her eyes say "thank you". I take this as a dismissal to leave, and make my way up to my room, intending to make up for all the studying I've missed in the past few hours. After about an hour I hear my dad come home, but not the sound of his voice, and I assume that he doesn't know Dawn's here. I'm glad for this, since I don't really want to explain it now. I don't want to lie again. When I think about the things I told my mum, I hate myself. Sure, like anyone, I've lied before. I've lied to my parents, my friends and teachers. But I only lied when I had to, and made sure I didn't hurt anyone but myself in the process. But this? I don't know who I'm hurting, it could be anyone. Mum, dad, Matt, and who knows who else?

I look back at the clock. How can only an hour and a half have passed? It feels like I've been sitting here for several hours! The room is too hot and stuffy, and it seems as if my busy mind doesn't want my body to relax either. I practically squirm in my chair, and I know that I won't get anywhere like this. I get up and open my window, which helps a little, and sit back down. I adjust my book light, which I use so I don't disturb anyone by having my lamp on, but as soon as I open my notebook to read over my notes it goes out, plunging me into complete darkness. Thoroughly ticked off at this point, I reach out blindly until I can feel the cold metal of it, grab it, then blindly make my way to my door and go downstairs for new batteries. I expect to have to make my way through the darkness, but as I reach the bottom of the stairs there's a light. It's faint, like a computer screen, and as I reach the living room I can see a slim silhouette on the couch. As I get closer I can see it's Dawn, sitting in front of what's probably the smallest laptop I've ever seen. Literally, it's only the size of a small notebook.

"How is it you managed to get your wallet and your phone stolen, but not that thing?" I say.

She must not have heard me come up behind her, because she jumps slightly before she answers. "No way anyone could steal this thing, I practically treat it like my child. I don't think I could have found you without it".

"It that how you found out I contacted the police?".

"Yeah, it was just a simple connection intersection. All I had to do is wait nearby for you to call, it was child's play. Sorry if I scared you then, I could see you run when I tried to approach you".

Ignoring the reason I came down here, I set my light on the table and sit down next to her "It's fine".

Very suddenly, she stops what she's doing and looks me in the eyes."What are you going to do, James?".

"What do you mean?"

"About Matt".

I just stare at her. How does she know about my suspicions of him? "How do you know about that?".

"I know about the profile you created, and even though he didn't see me, I saw the way he looked at you when he came in. It would be stupid of you not to be suspicious of him, and you aren't stupid, James".

I'm glad that she's said this, that I'm not the only one to think this way. I was afraid my suspicions were bias, or that I had been quick to pin the blame on Matt just because he was there. "I don't know. I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of, if he's innocent, or if he's not. I'm afraid if he's innocent that he'll never forgive me. But at the same time, if he's guilty, do you realize how easy it would be for him to kill me? I like to think, since we grew up together, that he would show mercy. But I've been to the police station where my parents work before. I've seen how heartless some of those killers are, and I fear that if Matt is guilty, that he'll slowly degrade into one of those animals. How do you deal with losing someone, and in a way it's their own fault?".

I suddenly realize who I've said this to, and I almost slap myself for being so stupid. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"It's fine" Dawn snaps. Her voice isn't angry, but more so impatient. I watch as she leans back and presses a hand to her temple, as if she has a headache, and closes her eyes. I just stare at her. Does she even know what her mum did? Am I going to have to be the one to tell her?

"I'm sorry" I say again quickly "Do you not know—?".

"I know what my mother did, James. I know she died because she helped a criminal" she says a little coldly.

"I'm sorry" I say again. Not for anything I did, but because I can't imagine going through anything she did.

"Don't be. I don't need your sympathy. I was seven months old, I don't even remember her".

"That doesn't make it any less real" I say. She doesn't speak for a while, but her eyes remain closed. "Did you always know?".

"For a while, I didn't. I knew your mum saved me, but I didn't know the details. When I was sixteen my parents sat me down and told me everything. I felt like I had reached a low point in my life. I couldn't believe that was really where I came from, and I tried so hard to make myself believe that it wasn't true. I didn't want to accept that my mother helped a criminal" she opens her eyes again, and leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees. She must have taken off her sweatshirt because of the heat, and now wears a tank-top. In the darkness I can see something written on her shoulder, a tattoo I think, but I can't make out what it says. "After I found out my grades slipped, I snapped at my friends and I got myself mixed up with the wrong crowd. I stared to see myself as more of a burden to my parents and less of a blessing. I didn't deserve the huge beach house we lived in, or all the fancy computers we had. My mother had helped a criminal, and I felt like I belonged in jail because of her wrongdoing". She sighs again, as if a huge burden has been off her shoulders. I have to wonder how many times she was forced to retell this story, or if she had even trusted anyone with this information. "One night, I felt so much pressure, I just wanted to get away. I felt so trapped in my own life". She looks up at me "And no, I didn't try and take my own life, if that's what you're thinking. I never sank that low, and that would have been the cowards way out. It would have been selfish".

If it weren't so dark, she would have seen that my face had gone red. That was exactly what I had been thinking, but had not dared to say it.

"But what I did was just as cowardly, and possibly even more selfish. I ran away from home. I waited until nighttime, and took a bus to a section of town I knew an old friend lived. She wouldn't know I was coming, but I stilled hoped for her help. But I got off on the wrong stop, and I was so lost. No one would help me. I didn't know what to do, and I just sat down on a bench and cried. An old homeless man came to me, told me everything would be all right. I couldn't believe that this man, who had nothing in his own life, was telling me that everything would be okay. He had no money, but forced me to use my own to buy a ticket back home. I tried to give him what was left over, but he refused to take it. After that I realized how lucky I really was, and how much of a brat I had been acting like my whole life. I started to appreciate every breath I took, every bite of food that I had. I went back there all the time, trying to find that man again, but I never could. I found that it doesn't really matter what your origins are, but what does matter is what you do with the gift of life". She stops for a moment again. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for her to run away again, even if she was chasing her future rather than running from her past this time.

"I don't want anyone, including you, to have to go through that. That's why I'm here. I owe you, everyone in your family, my life. If I can save you from that pain, or even save your life in the process, then my debt will be repaid".

"You don't have to do this now. You're only putting yourself in danger like this" I say.

"And let anything happen to your mother? I can't. The other person who saved my life, a man by the name of Shawn Mallory, died shortly after slipping into a coma when I was little. Your mother killed him. I fully understand why, and I know that he was a killer, but I was still in his dept. I can't let that happen to your family, I'd never forgive myself in I did". She leans into her computer. Her eyes shine in its light, as if they're wet. "Anyways, I've been trying to find a better way for you to communicate with the police. I have several ideas, but for now I have a feeling you would like to focus on proving your brothers innocence".

"Yes, that would be best" I say somewhat awkwardly. What are you supposed to say after someone pours out their heart to you, then just changes the subject? "I think we should offer him to join us. Tell him that he can help find who's doing this, and when we do, it'll prove his innocence" I say. I had been pushing this thought around for some time, and was glad for a second opinion. It puts my mind at ease when I know I'm not alone on this. "Matt becomes impulsive under pressure, as do many people. But at the same time, he hates to lose to the point of being childish".

"How do you know that?".

"He's done crazy things to win at track meets, the latest being diving head-first to beat another boy in a sprint".

"So? He could just be determined".

"I don't think so. He rarely loses, but when he does he becomes angry and often tries to blame it on an outside force. He likes to think that he cannot lose. The only reason I know this, is because I am also childish and hate to lose. I do the same thing when someone scores higher than me on a test".

Her eyes meet mine, and I can see that her mouth is slightly ajar in amazement. She seems to shake it off, then says "So all we'll have to do is watch his behavior. If it seems we're getting too close, we'll know it's him if he begins to panic".

"He knows I suspect him. So at the same time, we should tell him he's under surveillance" I say "And we'll be sure to keep an eye on him. Matt has lots of friends at school, and we need to be sure if it is him he doesn't have an accomplice. If he does nothing, but begins to make strange phone calls or anything of the sort and criminals keep dying, it's another thing we can hold against him. The only problem is, he has summer training for track most of the time. He also always attends a party at the end of the year, and it'll be hard to keep an eye on him".

"If you tell me where he goes for summer training I can keep an eye on him. As for the party, that should be easy. Are you invited?"

"Yeah, but I'll stick out too much. I never go because everyone brings a date, and if I show up without one I might stick out too much".

"So take me". I just stare at her, is she serious? "Oh, grow up, James. I'm sure you can handle pretending to be on a date".

I want to protest that that'll be hard, since I've never been on a real date since I'm too busy for a girlfriend, but instead I say "Won't people ask question? I mean, I'm sixteen, and you're nineteen".

"So? It's only a three year difference. Your parents are two years apart" she points out.

I don't speak for a while after this. It's not the party that worries me, it's everything that's ahead. What have I gotten myself into? Over a week ago my biggest worries were of exams, but now? I'm gambling not only my own life, but Matt and Dawn's as well. All my plans go around assuming my brother is guilty, and I'm ashamed of myself for even thinking this way. "My whole life" I say in small voice that's barely above a whisper "I was taught that everyone's innocent until proven guilty. What happened to that?".

Dawn doesn't look at me as she says "I just don't think you can afford to think like that now".

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

I can't stop glancing over at James and the clock. We have a half an hour until exams are over, and James is practically squirming in his chair. His nervousness is distracting, and wish he didn't have to sit near me. It wasn't really his choice though, we were sorted alphabetically by last name and we were just stuck together. I've never seen him this way. This morning he looked so close to a nervous breakdown, that even his friend, who introduced herself to me as Dawn, could barely talk some sense into him. I almost screamed at him this morning. What does he have to worry about? He spends more time studying than sleeping, and because of this during the summer he doesn't seem to know what to do with himself.

I for one, couldn't care less about the exams. Once the police see me as an ally, test scores won't matter. It doesn't mean I won't do my best, but unlike James, they won't decide my future. Unsurprisingly, James is the first one done, but for the entire remaining half-hour he feverishly checks his answers over and over again. When the timer goes off, we both hand in our tests, but I lose him in the crowd of my fellow classmates. I decide to head out without him, it's only a short walk home and it's not like he needs me for it. I almost make it outside, when I hear my name being called.

"Matt!"

I whip around, and I see Sayu, running towards me like an idiot. A few people stare, and as soon as she reaches me I grab her arm and drag her outside.

"What's wrong?" she says loudly, but I ignore her and drag her behind a nearby tree where no one will see us.

"Are you crazy?" I ask her in a loud whisper. "I can't be seen with you! As far as anyone else knows, I've never even spoken to you before. How suspicious would it be if we walk around like we're dating?".

"Matt…you're hurting me…" I can see her eyes well up with tears, I hadn't realized how hard I was gripping her arm.

"I'm sorry" I say dishonestly. It's not my fault, if she hadn't been so stupid, I wouldn't have had to do this! "All I want is for this world to be a safe place, for you, me, and everybody".

"But—I don't understand—" she says, sniffing "I want to be with you, Matt. I don't want to pretend like I don't—".

Sick of her whining, I lean over and kiss her. She stops talking immediately, and as I pull away she's smiling slightly. There, that should shut her up. "I'm just trying to look out for you" I lie easily.

"Okay…I understand…" she says, still sniffing slightly "Can I call you?".

"No" I say, perhaps a little too forcefully. "Our calls could be traced. If I need you, I'll call you. But only then".

Her face falls slightly, but again she says "Okay".

Without another word I walk away, leaving her behind. Everything's going as planned, she's completely under my control.

* * *

**Please please review? :D**


	7. The Games We Play

**Review replies:**

**PhoebePhorever: Thanks so much! I love Reid! He is so cute! I love when Prentiss dies (well, not that she dies) and Reid's just like "I never got to say goodbye". He is just so cute! My friends think I'm crazy, but oh well :D**

**Jupal: Thanks so much! Your review totally made my day! I actually just got into final fantasy. I don't have the system to play the newer ones (I have an old PS2) but I just started FF X and FF Xii. I know it's an odd place to start, but I don't really have a proper game store near me! Anyways, Thanks for the review! And Sayu's behavior will be better explained in a few chapters. By the way, totally random fact, I love your name. I've always loved the name Chiaki :)**

**mozzi-girl: Thanks a lot! **

**BreezyFan: Thanks so much! **

* * *

**James Fallon**

"James"

"What?"

"Don't act so coldly to me, people will think something's wrong".

"What do you—?"

"Just take my hand, you idiot".

Before I can say anything else she shoves her hand in mine, her fingers wrapping around mine in a death grip.

We had gone through with the plan we had spoken about just the night before. I had offered Matt the opportunity to help Dawn and I, and he had silently accepted with a nod. He still won't speak to me, or even look me in the eye. I don't think he's been taking the news that he'll be under surveillance well. He even made a point to leave early for the annual end-of-the-year party, which Dawn and I had left for shortly after him. We had been sure to keep an eye on him, but so far nothing eventful had happened. Mainly all he does is stand with the dark haired girl whom he had taken, who keeps giving Matt annoyed glances, while showing off the quarter-sized scar on his hand and laughing about it with his friends. Anyone else would think of this as normal behavior, but looking at him as an outsider I realize he's perfect. Too perfect. Just then a girl walks by me, and I don't know what it is about her, but she catches my eye. I know her from somewhere. I keep watching her, but she never seems to stop walking. She never stays in one place, and is always walking around, but never strays far from Matt. She keeps either looking at him, or shooting the girl he took with him a dirty glance. Then it hits me; this is the girl I saw him talking to just the other day. The girl who slapped him.

"Dawn" I whisper.

"What?"

"You see that girl over there? With the short blonde hair?" I don't wait for her answer "I saw her talking to Matt just the other day".

"Uh-huh" she says dully, clearly uncaring.

"She looked angry, I even saw her slap him"

"Uh-huh"

"When I asked about it, he denied that he was even talking to her".

Dawn pauses for a moment. "Really?". Her eyes immediatly land on the girl. "We might wanna keep an eye on her then. It's most likely nothing, but you never know".

"Sounds good. You keep an eye on Matt, I'll watch her".

I look over and she gives a non-committal nod, but her eyes lock on Matt. I try and keep track of the blonde girl, but she weaves in and out of the crowd so much it's like trying to catch smoke. I lose her for a while, but when I instinctually look up to the sharp sound of a cell phone ringing I see her; answering her phone. She merely glances at the screen, clearly just getting a text, and Dawn nudges me with her hand.

"Look at Matt" she whispers quickly.

I glance over at him, and see that he himself is just tucking his phone away.

"Keep an eye on him!" I whisper back sharply, yanking my hand out of Dawn's grasp.

"Wait! James! Let me—".

Perhaps she wants to go after the girl herself, thinking she would be quicker, but before I can hear the rest of her sentence I'm already too far away. But the girls gone! Why does she have to be so short? I franticly search, trying to spot her blonde hair in the crowd, when I see someone pulling the hood of their jacket over their head and making their way out of the crowd. Hoping with all my heart that this is who I'm looking for, I make my way through the crowd of my classmates. Marley, the boy in my year who is the one who throws this party every year, gives me a strange look as I pass; but I hardly care. I follow the figure through Marley's back yard and onto the busy sidewalk. They must know that I'm pursuing them, because the next thing I know they dodge into a nearby alleyway. I follow them, but by the time I manage to make my way through the crowded streets they've already hopped up on a nearby trashcan and are beginning to climb up a fire escape to one of the buildings. They're fast, I'll give them that. The figure manages to get several feet up before I even manage to get on the trashcan they had just used. I jump up and begin to climb, but I'm not Matt. I'm barely strong enough to pull myself up. Above me the figure has already made it to the platform above, and with a semi-triumphant nod, they begin to ascend the steps to the roof. I try and pull myself up after them, but I lose my footing, and for a second I kick wildly to find it again. I'm losing my grip on the cold metal, and I know I'm going to fall. I try and brace myself, and a second later I fall and manage to land on my feet, pain shooting up my left leg. I try and walk, so I can get back to Dawn, but when I put weight on my left leg I find it can't support me. It feels like someone's tried to pull my foot off, and I find myself slumping against the wall next to me.

"James!". My head snaps up, and I almost sigh with relief. Dawn's running towards me, worry in her eyes. "Are you alright?".

"They…got away" I stammer, and I realize that I'm panting. Why? I barely ran a hundred meters!

"That's not what I asked" she says grimly. She looks up the fire escape, where I presume she can still see the dark figure climbing up to the roof. "Did you try and climb that thing?". I nod "Idiot! You could have killed yourself!".

I can't help but smile, despite the sharp pain in my leg. I don't think anyone other than Dawn has ever called me an idiot. She reaches out her arm and I take it so she can help me up. "I guess that's it then" I say as Dawn slings my arm around her shoulder so she herself acts as a crutch "I just let her go".

"We can still check Matt's phone. As long as he uses his own cell phone, and not a burn phone, I should be able to prove he contacted her. It's not much, but it's a start".

Together we walk, or rather she walks and I hobble, out of the alleyway. A few people stare, but Dawn doesn't seem to care. "Guess there's no point in going back to the party, huh?" I ask.

"Even if there was, I'm taking you home. There's a good chance you sprained your ankle" she mutters.

After a few minutes we make our way back, and a second of fumbling for my house key we get inside. Dawn forces me to sit down on the couch, and only glances at my ankle before she grumbles "It's probably just a minor sprain, if you put ice on it you should be able to walk in the morning". Without another word she turns on heel and heads for the kitchen, returning a moment later with a bag of frozen peas. "Prop it up on the coffee table and put this on it" she instructs. I take the bag from her and do so without protest.

"You're so lucky I'm in medical school" she scoffs as she sits down next to me.

"Medical school?" I ask "I though for sure you'd be going for something with computers".

"Everyone has two passions, James" she says tiredly. She sets her laptop, which I assume she grabbed from the guest room on her way to get the peas, on the table and starts doing who knows what. "Computers were always forced upon me, but every kid grows up and says they want to be a doctor at some point. It just sticks with some more than others".

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

It's late as I make my way home, but that hardly matters. I've already gotten a text from Sayu that the criminal I had been targeting is dead. All that's left to do is dispose of the phone. I took the idea of getting a disposable cell phone from James. Now that he has that little computer freak with him, using my own could be dangerous. I make sure to wait until I find a deserted street on my way home, then drop the phone between the bars of a nearby sewer grate; where it falls through and hits the bottom with a 'plunk'. After that I immediately head home, and as I enter James and Dawn sit as if waiting for me on the couch. Dawn is, as usual, working on her computer; while James is messing around with the small chess set I had gotten him for Christmas ages ago. He used to love chess, and he probably could have gotten into it competitively if he wanted. But he only saw it as something to do for fun. He had taught me to play a long time ago, some time when we were in Elementary school I think. Now I only see him play when he's upset over something. He told me once it teaches discipline, as it forces him to make decisions even when he's in a bad mood. I sit on the chair across from him, and as if there's some unspoken rule he resets the board so I can join in.

"What'd you do to your leg?" I ask as I see his foot propped up on the table with a bag of what looks like frozen peas on it.

"He fell off the sidewalk, landed on his foot weird" Dawn answers for him a little too quickly.

I just stare at him, and he doesn't meet my eyes. James was never a good liar. I move my knight's pawn. "I saw you leave early. Am I still being watched?" I ask.

James doesn't answer, but instead he asks "Do you recall Sunday morning, when I said I heard you speaking to someone outside?". I nod, it's not a yes or a no. It's impossible to distrust a nod. "I ask you once again, who were you speaking to?".

"No one" I say calmly. I was prepared for this.

"Then you won't mind if Dawn looks at your phone?".

"Not at all" I respond, taking my phone out of my pocket and offering it to her.

She shakes her head "It's late, James, I'll do it in the morning. Even if he deletes his messages, it's all on his hard drive. Even I could barely wipe that in one night. And even if he does, all those messages are on a server somewhere". she says as if I'm not here. "Besides, won't his friends be suspicious if he doesn't answer any texts or calls? I'm guessing he won't want to lie to his friends if they ask".

James nods for me to keep it, and I slip it back in my pocket. It's not like it matters, either way James is falling into my trap. He has no evidence against me. He moves his bishop's pawn. "So…I heard another criminal died. Even if you left early, I still have an alibi. Does that mean I'm safe?". I move my king's pawn.

James moves his queen diagonally as far across the board as it can go. "How do you know that?".

"I used my phone to check the internet. Police found it about an hour ago, another arson. I have to keep track of it, I am a suspect after all". I go to move another piece, but James has already won. His queen has me in checkmate. It only took him a few moves.

"Tell me Matt, how big of a liar do you think you are?" he says somewhat sadly.

My heart hammers against my ribcage, but I manage to say calmly "No one is perfect James, everyone lies. I challenge you to find someone who doesn't".

"I thought you'd say that" he says dully. In one fluid motion he lifts his queen and taps my king with it until it falls off the board. "Checkmate".

There's a long silence in which James seems to be staring me down. I hate looking him in the eye. His eyes look almost exactly like out mother's, and it makes me feel like she's staring at me.

"You know, there are some people who say the killer, whoever he is, is good" I say. It's true, there are entire websites dedicated to it. Sayu showed me.

"I know, but what does that prove? Murder is murder. A human life is still a human life. If this killer is stopped, people will come to realize he is wrong. If he never is, they will come to know him as justice. And this killer is not justice. He may think he is, but no one has the right to judge others. While seeking a crime-free world, this killer has become a criminal himself. His ideas of justice are misaligned".

"But I can see where they're coming from" Dawn says quietly. I stare at her. Could she also be like me? Does she share my ideas? "There's nothing wrong with wanting a perfect world. I admit that this killer's intentions are good, but his way of going about it is wrong".

I have to try so hard not to smile. Even one of James allies agrees with me…a little. James's eyes narrow and he stares at Dawn, and she blushes, looking back down at her computer. After a moment James looks back at me, and I at him. Soon, he too will see that what I am doing is right.

After a long silence, Dawn looks up from her computer, her face scrunched in disgust. "I hate chess".


	8. Final Moves

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**mozzi-girl: Thanks so much! And yes, I do play chess! I was actually won the chess competition in my third year in primary school! (Not really that impressive though…only, like, five other people knew how to play…since we were all only around eight years old…I was a nerd-child…O.o) **

**PhoebePhorever: Thanks a lot! Geez…me=jealous. I saw the Mrs. Reid shirts on the Internet, but they just don't seem to sell things like that where I live :'( Glad I'm not the other Reid-lover out there though! **

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**The Zebra Detective: Thanks! Yeah, I had him in mind when I write that! I loved that volume, just because chess players like myself had a bit of an advantage ;) **

* * *

**James Fallon**

There's a short pause after Dawn speaks. That was our signal. _"I hate chess"._ It means she has something to say. It means I have to figure out a way to talk to her without Matt around.

"Dawn?" I say somewhat awkwardly. Matt eyes me suspiciously, I was never a good liar. "It's pretty late, maybe you should head back to your parents hotel?".

"Yeah…right" she says calmly. I envy her ability to lie. It's not necessarily a good trait, but it's certainly useful. "Wanna help me get my things together? I'd rather not leave anything behind. Like I said, it's a long ways there".

As an answer I nod, she grabs her laptop and I limp to the guest room behind her; throwing the bag of peas in back in the freezer on my way. Dawn was right, I can walk with only a slight limp now and it only hurts slightly to put weight on my left leg. As we walk in she throws her laptop on the bed, letting out a small sigh. Unsurprisingly, all of her things other than her laptop are already packed away. "Why didn't you take his phone?" I ask "You said yourself it would only take you a few minutes to trace the message!".

"The phone he used earlier was a burn phone" she responds darkly "the phone he took out at the party was a small, cheap little thing. The phone he handed me was a smartphone".

So that was it. He got me, I have nothing on him. I have no way to prove anything.

"On the bright side, I think I may have an ID on your mystery girl". Without even waiting to see my reaction, she opens her little laptop and turns the screen to me. It's a file, it looks like a medical record, and it the upper right corner is a picture of a short-haired blonde girl.

"That's her!" I say possibly a little to loudly.

"Sayu Kagami" Dawn whispers quietly. She sits down on the bed and begins to look at the file. "by the way James, your school really needs a better security system. It wasn't that hard to hack into, I could find anything I wanted on here".

For a moment I feel as if someone has grabbed my heart, because I cannot feel it beat. Does she know? Does she know my secret? I know it's on the school's medical records! If she looks up anything about me…she'll know. What will she think when she finds out? Will she leave me? Is she going to—?

"James?" she says quietly. My panic must have shown on my face "James? What's wrong?".

"Nothing" I say quickly.

She stares at me for a moment, and I avert my eyes. I'm afraid if I met hers then she would be able to peer into my very soul. The she would know. After a tense moment, she speaks again. "It says here Sayu lives with a grandmother and older brother and…that's odd. It says here she has severe dissociative identity disorder".

"Really?"

"Yeah…" she begins to type again, and a second later she says "Oh, this is so sad. It says her parents were killed during a robbery-gone-wrong. Her brother wasn't home, but for some reason she was left alive. Identity disorders are often caused by traumatic events. Poor dear…I wonder if that's what caused it. An arrest was never even made. I have the suspects names…wait…hold on…". She begins to type again, and a second later a smile appears on her lips. "I knew it! There were threes suspects to murder of this girl's parents. Two died a few years ago, one of a heart attack and another of cancer. The last one is paralyzed from a stroke last year, but just died yesterday. And it looks like foul play! Someone made Mustard gas by combining ammonia and bleach, and then left him to suffocate".

"But so far all the deaths appeared to be arson or a mugging-gone-wrong. Why would the killer change their M.O. now?" I ask.

"Maybe they were trying something new…"

"Or maybe this death was personal! This girl, Sayu, is very small. She wouldn't be capable of assaulting anyone. This could mean there are two killers, and Sayu planned this one. Although, like the others, no DNA or prints were found; it was still rather sloppy. I don't think either of these killers have been doing this for long. But there has to be two killers, either way. One is stronger and more physically intimidating; the other most likely less so. My guess is the stronger one came first, and based on how his killing method has been evolving; he hasn't been doing this for very long. Based on the amateurish nature of yesterday's murder, it seems the second, weaker killer came along recently. If I go off the assumption that Matt is the first killer and Sayu is the second; then Sayu will do anything Matt says. She's loyal to him, to the point that she would kill alone if asked to. We can use this to our advantage".

"Then we need to move. Now" Dawn says quietly. "I know you wanted to wait to contact the police again, but we don't have a choice. We can't go on this way. As each day goes by these killers are only evolving. They're getting farther and farther away. If we wait, then who knows when they'll be caught".

"So you figured out a better way to contact the police anonymously?".

She grins slightly "Actually, it's not too far off from what you did the first time. All we need is another phone, an hour of time on it should do. We'll have Matt drop it off; he wouldn't dare mess with it for fear of becoming more suspicious. He can set it on the desk of one of your parents, and from there we'll instruct your parents to get in their car so you can talk to them in privet. That's where you'll come in. I can easily place a call from my laptop to it, all I need is the number. You'll have a voice changer and I'll make sure the call can't be traced. Did you work out the issues in your plan?".

I did, in fact, did work everything out. Dawn and I had been discussing it shortly before Matt came home. But I don't know if I'm ready to put it in action just yet. Even as she spoke I was slowly working Sayu into it, but I'm almost certain this might work. If we go through with it…One way or another, we should know if Matt is innocent or guilty by tomorrow night.

"How will you know the number to the phone?".

"I'll walk with Matt there; tell him I'm going back to my hotel and that I have to go past the station on the way there. I may actually go there, so I can drop off my things". I had lent her money so she could find a hotel. She didn't want to take it, but she couldn't stay here again, and she only accepted it on the terms that she would pay me back as soon as possible. She should have enough left over to buy the phone. "Then I'll come back here, you can place the call then tell Matt what we're doing…well, some of it anyways…".

She's right, but this plan is risky. Too many things can go wrong, and too many things depend entirely on the behaviors of others. But we can't stay like this forever. "Let's just finish this".

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

I sit and wait for James and Dawn to come out. I know they're back there talking, because I saw Dawn packing yesterday. Why would she need James help? After a few minutes they both emerge, Dawn with her laptop in her arms and her bag slung over her shoulder.

"I need you to come with me, Matt" Dawn says "I'm heading back to my hotel, but I need to get a disposable cell phone and you'll need to give it to your parents. It'll look to strange if I go in, you'll just have to think of an excuse. Actually, now that I think about it, tell them you were on your way home and a man told you to give it to you; that way we don't need to worry about our fingerprints should they investigate. Just make sure they have it at about 9:30. That's what time James will call".

I just stare at her, and she stares right back. She's not afraid to meet my gaze. What is she planning? Is James behind this? I can't exactly refuse, it would look too suspicious if I did. "Can I ask why we're doing this?".

"We'll explain later" she answers "but for now James needs to anonymously contact the police again". I shift my gaze to James, who isn't looking at me. He's defiantly hiding something.

"Why doesn't he do it?" I ask.

"James sprained his ankle, remember? He can walk, but do you really want to drag him around?". She pauses for a moment. "Just come with, it's important. Don't you want to find who's doing this so you're not a suspect anymore?".

Crap, she's got me. If I were innocent, how could I argue with that? "Fine" I respond after a moment. Without even glancing at James, Dawn walks out, and I follow behind her. It's dark, and Dawn walks quickly as if she's in a hurry. I don't follow her in the small convenience store that's just around the corner as she purchases the phone; I wait outside. What could she do in there that could come back to harm me? After she comes out I have to wait a minute for her to find a pen in her bag and write the phone number on her hand; and I don't question it when she does. I don't know why she doesn't just give me the number, it's not like I could do anything without them knowing it was me. I can't ask her why, because it might look suspicious if I ask too many questions. Until I know what she and James are doing, it would be best if I keep quiet. She doesn't talk to me on the way, but when we're about half-way something occurs to me. I can kill her. She's an asset to James, and she's dangerous. I can kill her right now, and I doubt it would even be that hard as she's fairly small. But I shake this thought away almost immediately. James knows I'm with her, and if she dies now, it'll just make me look even more suspicious. It would actually just make things worse as he obviously cares for her, making this case personal to James. No, Dawn needs to live. At least, for now.

"I guess I'll be seeing you then" she says suddenly.

I stop and look around. We're already just outside the station; I hadn't even noticed. As a goodbye I nod to her, but she doesn't leave. She just stands there, and I think she wants to see me go in. Even if she wasn't here, I'm in no position to sabotage this, and she wordlessly hands me the phone. As I enter I notice the station's horribly busy, and it's so crowded that I know I won't be able to find anyone. It must be because of me, but I hardly care. Maybe I can get away with not giving it to them if I just go outside and tell Dawn…

"Hey, Fallon!".

I turn at the sound of a familiar voice, seeing a short blonde woman making her way towards me. I haven't seen her for years, but I would recognize her anywhere. She's a good friend of my parents; Detective Corso I think her name is. She makes her way over to me, smiling slightly.

"Haven't see you since you were little!" she says loudly "But I'd recognize those eyes anywhere. Remember me?".

"It's Detective Corso, isn't it?".

"Technically it's Captain Corso" she says a little grimly. I remember her now, I think my dad said something about passing up the offer for being promoted to Captain she he could keep working with my mum. This must be the person who took his place. "Just call me Blaise, kid" she looks around for a second "You come here to see your parents?".

"Yeah, but I can come back later. I just—" I try to hide the phone behind me, but she sees it first.

"Did Mal lose his phone again? I can give it to him if you want".

"It's not his. Someone, a man, told me to give it to him. I didn't see his face. " I answer, handing her the phone. Hopefully she'll look into it herself and it'll never get to them in time.

"That's fine, I'll pass it along. Did they tell you we had an anonymous caller just the other day? Really helped us out! If we're luckily maybe it's him again. Just wish I knew who it was…too bad you didn't see his face" she takes it and slips it in her pocket, and it takes every ounce of will I have not to force her to give it back. I could tell her who this caller really is, but I'm in no position to do that either! James still holds the threat of being suspected by him _and_ the police over my head. This is not how this was supposed to go! Blaise's head snaps up at the sound of her name being called, and she pats me roughly on the shoulder before she says "Guess I'll see you later, Fallon" and walks off. Great, just great, what am I supposed to do now? I turn to go, knowing there's nothing more I can do, but I find myself face-to-face with a middle aged woman.

"Excuse me?" she says, ignoring the fact I almost ran her over. "That woman…did she say your last name is Fallon?". I nod, seeing no reason to lie. "Your parents are Detectives, aren't they?". When I nod again, she puts out her hand and I shake it. Then she says very quickly "My name is Chihiro Matsuda. A few hours earlier my neighbor and friend was killed in an arson fire . I know on the news they said they they think it's a man who's behind all these killings…but I know I saw a girl watching his house just before the fire started".

I don't respond for a moment. Did she see Sayu? There's no way the police know about her yet! I can't let them find out now, James already suspects it, and if he hears about this it'll only confirm his suspicions! There's only one way to silence her…she's going to have to die.

"Listen" I say calmly "My parents are busy now, but I can pass the message onto them. Did you tell anyone else about this?"

"No, I was too scared. This killer who's out there…he's a monster. My friend, Raymond, was a good man. He long since payed for his crimes, and he learned his lesson. The girl I saw was—".

"I'll need to get the details from you" I lie, cutting her off. "But not here; the details of the case are being kept privet and we don't want anyone overhearing. I know just the place we can go where we won't be overheard".

She nods for me to lead the way, and I know I've won. I was afraid of meeting Dawn outside, but she's nowhere to be found. I lead her through the streets, and it's a long walk, but she doesn't seem to mind. After a while we reach the docks in a poorer part of town. My mother used to tell me this is where she met my father for the first time. It was while they were both working, and it was while they were looking at a body; so it wasn't the most romantic meeting ever. She would tell this story whenever this place was in sight, which happened often, and I know that this place went downhill years ago and there hasn't been a night guard since. I lead Chihiro to the end of one of the docks and stop.

"Is this the place?" she asks timidly. I don't respond. Stupid woman, she doesn't even know the end is near. "Sir?" she says. I can hear the fear growing in her voice "Sir? Why did you bring me here?".

Before she realizes I whip around, grabbing her by the hair. She lets out a cry of shock, but I quickly clasp my other hand over her mouth. She starts to cry, I can feel the hot tears that slide down her cheeks and onto my hand. Her eyes are wide with fear; she finally knows what's coming. She tries to struggle, but I let go of her hair and grab her around the middle, pinning her arms down. I force her to her knees and practically drag her to the edge of the dock, let of of her mouth, grab her hair again and shove her head under the water. She struggles at first, but I'm stronger than her and no one is around to see. After a few minutes she goes still, and for good measure I stay like that until I'm sure she's dead. Careful to not take her head out of the water for fear of air entering her lungs, I roll her body over and let it fall into the water. After a moment it sinks, and I know it'll be days until anyone finds it. I get up and leave, only glancing behind me once to make sure her body hasn't come back up. I won't have to worry about prints, the sea should wash that away before her body is found. I had expected to feel slightly bad about killing her, since she's innocent…but I don't. In a way, she's just as bad as a criminal. She got in my way. I am justice. Anyone who betrays me, anyone who goes against me; they are the evil ones. They got in the way of justice.


	9. Checkmate

**Review Replies: **

**mozzi-girl: Thanks so much! **

**Jupal: Thanks a lot! I was concidering going that way…but I don't really want this story to end up thirty chapters long lol. Thanks for the review!**

* * *

**James Fallon**

It barely takes Dawn twenty minutes to make her way back, but by the time she does she's panting.

"I ran back" she says as I let her in "I wanted to get back before Matt, and besides, this city is creepy at night".

She comes in and sets her laptop on the coffee table; she must have stopped by her hotel earlier, because this is all she has with her.

"Ready?" she asks cheerfully "We should have plenty of time, I waited for Matt to come out, but he took too long so I left. He was probably talking to someone, but it should be fine. He won't dare mess this up; it would make him look too suspicious". She opens her computer, pulling up several screens and typing feverishly. "Anyways, I've got everything set up. Know what you're going to say?".

I nod. I do know what I'm going to say, but that doesn't make it any easier. What if I get tongue-tied? What if I mess up and they figure out I'm just a kid, then they don't take me seriously? What if they recognize me? Sure, sooner or later I'm going to have to come clean, but I wanted it to be in person. I wanted it to me on my terms. Dawn steps away from her computer and looks at me expectatly, but I don't react. The same bone-deep feeling of dread from last time seems to have taken over again. Pure anxiety takes over my mind, and all I can think of is all the things that could go wrong.

"James?" she says softly. Her face is pinched up a little, and she seems to be scrutinizing me. "You can do this". She says in an even softer voice, as if she can read my mind. As if to guide me, she reaches over and grabs my upper arm, leading me until I sit on the couch. Not even bothering to look at me beforehand, Dawn looks at the number she wrote on her hand and punches it into her computer. The computer makes a ringing sound, immitating a phone. I feel like my heart has stopped.

"Just relax" Dawn says softly. She hasn't let go of my arm. I don't know if this is a mistake, or something she's doing to calm me down. "The microphone is near the camera on the top. It's sensitive, so you don't have to lean in to it". The ringing continues, and she sqeezes my arm slightly; as if she's trying to hold onto me. "There's a voice filter installed on here, and they can't trace this call. I made sure of it. They won't know it's you".

The ringing stops. For a second I think, or maybe hope, that no one will answer. But I can hear background noise; other people talking. Some seem almost framilar, like I've met their owners before.

"Hello?".

It's my father's voice. I take a deep breath. I wasn't aware I was digging my nails into my palms until now, and I force myself to relax.

"Detective Fallon?" I say. My voice cracks, and I can hear how I sound with the voice filter through the speakers. They don't pick up the slight falter in my voice, but it makes my voice sound deeper and rougher.

"One of them".

I almost slap myself for being so stupid. Yes, I know both my parents are detectives, but I never really thought about the fact that they go by the same thing. To me, they were only ever '_Mum_' and '_Dad_'. I know it's not a big deal, but I still feel stupid for not specifying one.

"I need you to follow my instuctions carefully" I say "get your wife, and take her out to your car. Lock the doors, roll up the windows. I'll give you further instructions from there".

"And why should I listen to you?".

I make a mental note to tell Matt off if he's proven innocent. If he would have given the phone to mum, she might have challenged it as much. She might have known I was the caller from yesterday.

"You can trust me. I am the confidential informant who contacted your wife yesterday" I say awkwardly. It feels strange to say '_Your wife_' to my dad. At the same time, the word '_yesterday_' seems strange to me too. Was yesterday really the day I called for the first time? It feels like it happed a lifetime ago! "I am someone you have met before, someone you trust. I assure you, my identity will be revealed in time".

Dawn's grip on my arm tightens. I know this is risky information to give out, but it's the only way I can think of to convince him. He doesn't respond, but I can hear his say something in the background. My mother's voice responds, and after a moment the background noise of people talking fades away. I hear a car door open, then another. Then the sound of both being closed again.

"Okay, we're in the car. What do you want?" I hear my father say. I've never heard him speak this way, never heard him sound so intimidating. I wonder if this is how he interrogates criminals; because whether I knew him or not I'm certain I would be trembling if he spoke to me like that in person.

"I—I need you to make an arrest" I stutter.

My mother responds this time, perhaps she can tell by my voice that I'm afraid of my fathers tone. I've heard her voice become harsh before, but this isn't how she speaks now. Her voice is gentle; reassuring. "We can't make an arrest without a probable cause".

"Please" I say. That's one thing I never took into account. How many other holes in my plan will come up? "This is important. Lives are at stake. I'm asking you to go around the law a little. Do you really want to let another person die? What if this killer starts preying on the innocent? What if—" I don't know why I add this last part, but I know I've said the right thing as soon as I do "—what if they went after your sons?".

There's a long pause, I think I may have struck a nerve with that last part. "What do you need us to do?" my mother says after a long time.

Beside me, Dawn sighs with relief. When I look over to her, she's smiling. "You did it" she mouths. It was only a simple phone call, but she looks almost proud.

"I need you to arrest a girl named Sayu Kagami. I belive there are two killers, and that she is the second".

"And the first?".

I take a breath, ready to unleash a bomb. "Your eldest son, Matthew".

It's my father who speaks first. "No!".

"You can't be serious—".

"Matt would never—".

They keep going off like that for a while. I let them. It's beginning to frighten me that Matt might walk in on this, and I start to wonder why we didn't do this somewhere else.

"Please, listen" I say after a while. I'm surprised at how quickly they both become quiet. "I have been keeping an eye on your son—"

"For how long?" My father interrupts. "You can't just call us and start making accusations—".

"Please do not interrupt" I say, cutting him off. He doesn't say anything else. It feels weird, having this authority over them. I wonder if this is how teachers feel when they reprimand someone for speaking out of turn. "This is the only way to prove his innocence. Personally, I don't want to believe your son is a killer. But in the past week he's been keeping odd hours, I even caught him making a mysterious phone call on a disposable cell phone once. I do not wish be believe it…but if you do exactly what I say we'll know one way or the other by tomorrow night".

There's another long pause. I can see it now, my parents silently communicating in the dark car. My father's face set, my mother looking at him with her piercing gaze.

Someone, my mother I think, clears their throat. "We're listening".

"The I need you to arrest a girl named Sayu Kagami, then take her to a location I will disclose to you at the end of this conversation. Tell no one where you are going. If desired, you may bring a few trusted people with you. But take in mind everyone you bring may be putting their lives on the line".

Beside me, Dawn lets go of my arm and goes to the window, making sure Matt isn't coming back. But I ignore her and continue.

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

I see little of James the next morning, the same for Dawn. I'm glad I don't. After the death of that Chihiro woman yesterday, he's been giving me knowing glances every time I see him. He can't possibly know…can he? No, it's ridiculous. There's no way he could have made that connection; her body hasn't been found yet…that I know of. Even if it is, they can't trace it back to me. They probably won't be able to get prints or DNA off of her even if they do find Chihiro, the ocean will have taken care of that.

"Matt!".

I whip around, where James is just coming in the back door. It's obviously raining, for he's dripping wet. His tiny cell phone, also drowned-looking, is in his hand. That's odd, James hates cell-phones. He has one for emergency calls, that's it; he never uses it. '_Distracting little noise makers'_ he calls them. His voice is panicked.

"What's wrong?".

"Didn't Mum and Dad just call you?". His eyes are deep with worry, his voice shakes. This is not an act…or is it? James is smart, and although he's a bad liar, a few well-rehearsed lines and he could pull it off.

"No" I say, getting up quickly from the couch as if in panic. Two can play at this game.

"I think they're in trouble! They just called me and told me to fetch you, then gave me an address and told me to come!".

I stare him down. Is that sweat from nervousness, or just rain on his face? His eyes lock on mine. I want to demand to see his phone, make him show me proof in whatever way possible; but instead I say "Why would they need us?".

"Is this really the time to ask questions?" he says "we need to go!".

I don't respond for a second, but rather stare him down. Is this a trap? If it is, it'll take a lot more than that to get me.

"Matt!"

"Fine" I say eventually. Honestly, what harm could this do? Sure, compared to James, no one would say I'm smarter. But in the past week I've learned things; things that can't be read in a book. I can probably outsmart James, just like I did with the phones. Deciding I would rather not become completely soaked like James, I grab an umbrella from the closet before heading out. He walks close to me as we make our way through the streets, almost trying to drag me so I walk faster. I let him lead the way, which works out until we reach what looks like rows upon rows of storehouses. At times these things must be full of merchandise for nearby stores, but now, since the winter holidays are past us, my guess would be most of them are empty. I know from the stories my Mum and Dad tell that nothing good ever happens at anything that's abandoned. Suddenly, James bolts, like a dog let off of its leash. Maybe I'm wrong about my Mum and Dad…did he hear something?

"James!" I yell, but he either ignores me or can't hear me above the rain. The rain is so heavy I can't see him anymore when he gets a few feet away, and I start to panic. Yes, just the night before I had the horrible realization that if it comes to it I may have to kill him, but he's still my little brother! And if I could avoid him losing his life, I would. Abandoning the umbrella on the muddy ground, I full-on sprint after him.

"James!" I call after him, and as I follow in the direction he went I hear a door open. I can see it in the distance, and I'm sure that it's James going inside. He slams the door behind him, but it's not long before I open it right back up.

I'm not sure what I expected to see, but it certainly wasn't this. James and Dawn stand not far from me, and a few feet to the right of them is my Mum, Dad and that woman who insisted I call her Blaise yesterday. None of this would have been as much of a shock to me, had my dad not been pointing his gun right at me; positioned just right for a kill shot.

"…Dad?" I manage to choke out. Do they know? Is this why James brought me here? In that case, I played right into his hands! Either way, I know he won't shoot. I'm his son.

That's exactly what I'm thinking, that I'm his son, when the sound of a gun being fired fills the room.

"Matt!" someone screams, half-tackling me, half hugging me. It's Sayu, she has come to my rescue out of nowhere. I had expected her to jerk forward as the bullet hit, to hear her scream; but there's nothing. I look up at my father, his face is set; and I know what he's done. He shot a blank…but why?

"Dad?" I say again, because that's all I seem to be capable of saying. I glance at my mum. Her eyes are wide; watery almost.

"Tell me, Matt" James says. Of all the people here, he easily looks the calmest. Of course, he always does. Stupid _perfect_ little James. "You said you don't know Sayu…so why would a stranger try and take a bullet for you?".

It suddeny hits me. This was James's plan all along; to use Sayu to finally prove my guilt. They probably arrested her, had her waiting at gunpoint in the corner; waiting for me to come. "I don't know, why don't you ask her?" I say, playing dumb as I nod down to Sayu. My voice shakes, but hopefully it'll only be interpreted as fear from thinking I was about to be shot. Sayu, who's still hugging me around the middle, tightens her grip on me like a small child.

"Matt, the answer is written on your face" James says calmly.

I can't help it, my jaw drops in horror. Maybe my face doesn't give away anything, but if he's trying to get to me, it's working. It feels like my words are no my own when I yell "Sayu, you idiot!" as I push her away.

"Matt…" she says softly, blinking away tears.

"This is a trap!" I yell. I'm not sure why I'm yelling, because this entire warehouse is deathly silent "James is only trying to frame me!".

"Matthew…" my mother whispers sadly. I know I'm done for; she never uses my full name. I've never seen her look so defeated…but I don't care. She takes a step towards me, then another. If it were anyone else advancing towards me I might have tried to escape; but I'm frozen. She comes closer, gently pushing Sayu out of harms way as she does. She puts her hand on my shoulder, and up close I can see she's practically on the verge of tears. But that's my mother though; she never actually cries. "It's over".

Something about those two words triggers something in my brain. It can't be over! It'll never be over, don't they understand? Her gun is in her hand, which is hanging limply at her side; as if she hoped she wouldn't have to use it. If it were anyone but me she might have been more cautious, but in one sweeping motion I rip it from he hand and get as far away as I can. The smart thing to do would be to run to the door, but I know Blaise's gun must have already locked on me. I fear she won't hesitated putting a few bullets in my back. So I push myself away, getting to the opposite wall. My mother looks horrified, and I don't even look at my dad or Blaise; my eyes lock on James.

"That's right, James" I say. I'm barely aware of what I'm doing, as if I'm merely a puppet and someone else is pulling the strings; but the next thing I know I'm aiming the gun at James. Vaguely, I know, he has to die. I don't have a choice. "You were always right".

* * *

**James Fallon**

I don't know the boy who stands before me. He looks like Matt; but in a way it's not him. His eyes are wild, untamed. He's practically hugging the wall, and in a way he reminds of of a wild animal. Something feral and dangerous. Dread fills my stomach when I see he's aiming the gun at me.

"What can you do? Kill me right here?" Matt challenges. He's only looking at me, as if it's just the two of us in this room. Of course, this is what it comes down to; him and me. "Hear this, James; I'm not only a killer, but I am also a hero! I am the one who's been maintaining order. I am justice! The only hope for this city; for the world. Someone who can work above the law, who can do what our mother and father can't!". I look over at my Mum as he says this. '_Mother_', it's such a cold word with no sense of affection in it. In a way, when she hears this, her face almost turns to stone. I hear a click; Blaise and, surprisingly, my dad have their guns trained on Matt. Not to kill, but aimed at him all the same. "Killing me? Is that really the right thing to do?" Matt continues. "Ask anyone if killing criminals is just; they'll always give the same answer. That killing anybody is wrong. But they know; they know that some don't deserve to live, but they're too afraid to say it! This world is rotting away! Somebody has to do this! When I first killed that mugger all over a week ago, I knew I had to do it. That I was the only one who could! I understand that killing people is a crime. But there is no other way! The world has to be fixed! We can't go on like this! And only I can do it! Who else could have done it and come this far? Who else would have the strength to keep going?".

I can't believe what I'm hearing. The words seem to reach my ears, but my brain is unable to process their meaning. "You're just a mass murderer" I say calmly. For some reason I feel like my words are not my own. Like someone else is speaking through me. "In the end, you're nothing more than a serial killer. A deluded mass-murderer. That's all you are. Nothing more and nothing less. An animal".

"Who are you calling an animal? I put the monsters of this world down! I never killed the innocent!" Matt yells.

"What about Chihiro Matsuda?" I comment. I don't know for a fact that Matt killed her, but Blaise said she saw a woman matching her description leave with him last night. She was reported missing this morning; and she had a connection to one of Matt's victims. "That woman you killed in cold blood?".

For a second, Matt seems almost shocked that I know about her. Finally, he says "She was a fool. She thought she was seeking justice, when all she did was get in the way of it. I admit her intentions were good. But this is why the world cannot continue on like this! Wrongdoers must be stopped! I'm the one saving this world from evil and ridding it of fear! And anyone who opposes me is just as bad as a criminal!" He seems to look to Dawn, who's standing slightly behind me. "I know you understand, you said so not long ago, so help me!".

I don't look back at Dawn to see her reaction. Instead, I look straight at Matt. "I don't even know you anymore" I say quietly.

As if this has set off some kind of horrible reaction, Matt fires his gun at me. I know what he's going to do just before he does it, and I get out of the way just in time. I don't look back to see if it hit anything, because I'm too focused on what's ahead. The moment Matt fired at me, Blaise and my Dad fired at Matt. Not to kill though. Two bullets, supposedly from Blaise, plant themselves in his right shoulder. One goes in his left leg. The force causes him to jerk back, and he screams in pain before collapsing to the ground. In all the confusion I hear the door open, and I know Sayu must be escaping. But that hardly matters to me now. My brother is huddled on the ground, whimpering like a wounded dog.

"Sayu, where are you? Where's my dad…? Mum…? S...Someone... It hurts... w…what do I do...?" He whimpers. I know these are not the words of my brother. Matt would never say anything like that; never show any weakness. It's not him who I'm looking at, who my parents have rushed forward to help. The real Matt was never shot. Now that this is over, all I can hope is that I can find the real Matt again.

"…J…James…" I hear someone call behind me. I look back. All the color is flushed out of Dawns face, both her hands are over a spot on her stomach. She looks down and takes her hands away; and I see that her hands and shirt are dyed red. She was standing behind me. The bullet that had been for me had hit her. For a second she looks at me, and the next thing I know I'm diving forward, catching her before she falls to the ground.

* * *

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	10. Broken Promises

**Hey guys! So, I just wanted to take a minute to let you guys know how much everyone on this site means to me. I know this is really random, but you guys mean so much to me. Before this site I didn't let anyone read what I wrote. I shredded paper as soon as I wrote on it, and I've come a long way since then because of you guys! This site has made me a much better writer, and I've learned something from everyone on here! So thanks so much to anyone who's reading this!**

**mozzi-girl: Thanks so much! I'm actually planning Maltara for later, so they'll defiantly be in later chapters! **

**The Zebra Detective: Thanks so much!**

**Katlana Child: Thanks so much! I actually found writing in the antagonist's PoV is more fun…in a weird way O.o Anyways, thanks a lot! **

**Jupal: That first thing you said actually creeped me out a little bit, since I was planning something like that soon :) Thanks so much! **

* * *

**James Fallon**

I don't get to Dawn in time. I almost catch her, and I think I softened the blow of the ground, but she still falls. My heart races inside my chest, and my ears are filled with such a roaring sound that it's almost deafening. Surely this isn't real, Dawn couldn't have been shot. It's impossible…she can't…

"…J…James" she manages to choke out again. I'm on my knees, one arm is partially propping up her head, the other is tightly squeezing her hand. Her lips have turned red, her teeth stained with blood. Gently, she shakily moves the hand that I'm gripping and places it over the area in her abdomen where blood seeps out. "…Put…P…pressure on it" she whispers, her voice shaking. I do exactly what she says, gently lowering her head to the dirty ground. I almost can't believe her words. Here she is, dying on the ground, giving me instructions as if she's answering a question in class.

I briefly look at her pale face, her eyes are unfocused; drooping. They're about to close. "No…" I almost beg "Don't go to sleep". I'm not sure if this is proper medical advice, I'm not the one in medical school after all, but she does as I say. An eternity seems to pass, but after a moment I hear it; the sirens of an ambulance. One of my parents or Blaise must have called for it, but I wouldn't have known. My whole world has shrunk to such a size that it only contains Dawn and myself.

"Y—You're doing well" Dawn says quietly, as if I'm the one who's bleeding and dying on the ground. I know a pool of blood is forming, but I don't dare look at it. I don't think I could stand it. I don't understand though…why is no one helping me? Why has no one noticed that Dawn's life is bleeding out of her? Just for a moment, I turn around to see what my parents and Blaise are doing; and a weight drops in my stomach.

Matt isn't moving. He's crumpled to the ground, almost nothing more than a bag of bones. All three of them are trying desperately to get a response from him; and I fear that he's not breathing. I don't understand though…he was shot in the leg and shoulder! He should be fine!

"…J…Jame…" Dawn says in an even softer voice. She can't even get the whole part of my name out.

"I'm here" I say softly, because I'm not altogether sure she can even see me. Her eyes are unfocused and glassy. She takes one hand and reaches up, as if so touch my face and confirm that it's really me, but instead grabs the fabric of my shirt just over my heart. I never realized how small her hands are, and she makes a tiny fist as she clutches the fabric; she must be in terrible pain. I'm barely aware of the doors bursting open once more, of paramedics rushing to take Dawn away. She doesn't let go of my shirt, no matter how many people try and yank it from her grip; and it forces me to follow the stretcher-type thing she's on awkwardly close.

"…D–don't leave me" she says desperately in a voice barely above a whisper. It's not like her to demand such a thing; but I don't even think twice about it. I'm half-dragged outside, where the rain is slowing down. Two ambulances wait; I can see Matt being loaded into the other one, my parents and Blaise not far behind. It's like they've forgotten about me, but I don't care. Their other son needs them more. And Dawn needs me.

"I won't" I promise, although I don't know if I'll be able to keep it at this point. Surely at some point the EMT's will force her to let go. I end up sitting beside her the whole way there. Even though she's still holding onto me, I end up taking her hand again. The rest of the world dissolves; I don't care about anyone else who's in here with us. I don't care what they're doing to her. All I care about is that I don't let go of her, and she doesn't let go of me. Because for some reason; I feel like if I let go I'll lose her forever. That I'm her lifeline.

Although at this point there's an oxygen mask over her face, I still see her lips move as she tries to say something; my name I think. I lean in closer so I can hear her, but she's suddenly gone very still. Her eyes have closed, and I can barely see her chest rising and falling has she breathes.

"D-Dawn" I stutter. I squeeze her hand harder, so hard that if she would be awake she would probably say that I'm hurting her. "Say something…anything". I know this is a stupid request, but I can't stand her silence. I want to hear her voice, because even now when I try to remember what it sounds like I know it's not right. And I don't want to forget that; I don't want to forget anything. I'm barely aware that we've stopped moving, that the doors are opening and they're taking Dawn away. I know if anyone can save her, it's them; but it's hard to let go of her. I feel like if I let her out of my sight…I'll never see her again. I push away these feeling, forcing myself to let go of her hand. I had expected, or maybe hoped, that she would still be holding onto me. But as they begin to wheel her stretcher away, her hand falls limply away. The world seems to leave me behind, because no one pays me any mind as they take Dawn away. Why should they? It's my fault she was shot. It should have been me. It was meant for me. I stumble out of the ambulance.

"James". I look around. My parents and Blaise are right behind me; they must have taken Matt away from them just like they took Dawn away from me. I want to ask what's wrong with him, why Matt had suddenly become nothing more than a bag of bones; but I don't. I can see that asking such a question would only make things worse. Carefully, as if I'm something fragile that might break, my mother puts a hand on my shoulder and forces me forward.

I can hear Blaise say something to my Dad. Something so quiet I only make out some of it. "—Better get back to the station–clean things up about this before they get too bad. Don't want to ruin the boy's life if we can help it—".

My mind doesn't allow me to hear the rest. I don't know if it's me or Matt that they're talking about; but I don't care. I'm too shocked that the fact that I might lose both my brother and someone I consider my best friend in one day. Sure, Matt probably won't die, but the real Matt is certainly lost somewhere. But Dawn…I may never see her again. I try and picture her in my mind, try and remember her face; but I can't. It's like an artist trying to recreate a painting, it's just not right. It's funny how I didn't even know she existed last week, but now I feel like I'm losing part of myself. Like after all this time, part of me had rubbed off on her. The part of me that I can't get back. I lived my whole life without her around, but if she dies I just don't know what I'll do.

My Mum leads me past a pair of sliding glass doors, and I'm faintly aware that only one set of footsteps follows us. After that a small waiting room opens up to us. A child sits on his mothers lap nearby, and she whispers what sounds like a song in his ear as he rocks him gently. A girl of maybe fourteen sits with her father; headphones in her ears and a cast on her arm. I don't belong here. I don't deserve to sit among these people. I'm the reason my best friend could end up dead. I'm the reason I'm losing my only brother. My mother sits down and I follow suit. My father sits down beside her. It's almost interesting how differently each one carries grief in their face.

My father acquires a mask of some sort; and it it weren't for the deep worry in his eyes I would think he didn't care for Matt. But I know he does. Just like I took to our Mum more, Matt too to our Dad. If he took us to the park when we were little, he never said 'No' if Matt wanted to play catch. In return, Matt would take everything Dad could throw; even if he threw it a little too hard and it stung his hands.

My Mum, however, is different. She carries grief heavily, as if it's a burden on her back. As she sits she's slightly hunched over; and she has an almost defeated look to her. She rubs the spot just between her eyes, the place where I myself get headaches. For the first time I realize that she's not exactly young anymore. Sure, for someone her age she's fairing well. She doesn't look like most kids mum's. But at the same time she carries years of sadness in her face, and also years of wisdom. That's when I see it; a single tear sliding down her face. She makes a slight gasp for air. My Dad pulls her close, stroking her hair and whispering something in her ear so she nods; but he doesn't look much better off than her. This hits me hard. I've never seen my Mum cry; and I assume the first time any kid sees their parent cry for the first time it destroys them in a way. I, like I presume most kids do, always thought of my parents as something indestructible. Something sadness can't touch. Then, to see my own mother break down like this, it almost makes me angry. What right does anyone have to do this to her? Who would want to make her cry?

"Mr. And Mrs. Fallon?".

My head shoots up. A woman stands before us. She isn't dressed like a doctor, and she looks too young to be one anyways. She's only in her early twenties, with long hair the color of sunshine and sky-blue eyes. My mother quickly tries to hide her tears, as if suddenly remembering where she is.

"If you could come with me, please" she woman says. She smiles at my mother, which I'm sure was supposed to come off reassuring, but my father scowls at her. I know he's wondering how anyone could smile while Matt is the way he is.

But my parents obey, and I awkwardly follow behind. The woman stares at me for a second, as if she's going to tell me that I can't go along, but my mother stares at her aggressively; daring her to say something. She doesn't.

Just before I follow the woman into a hallway, I look behind me to the little boy and his mother. The child has fallen asleep in his mothers arms; and his mother looks relived. It's a long walk through twisting corridors to our destination; which I soon find out is a small and plain room.

"Where's Matt?" my mother barely chokes out as soon as she gets inside.

"He's okay, he'll live" the woman says kindly, not exactly answering my Mum's question.

"Why—" she starts, but her voice breaks. It takes her a moment to get it back again "—Why did he just…pass out like that?".

"Why don't you have a seat?" the woman suggests, nodding her head to a small desk with chairs in the corner. I understand now; this is the woman's office. And by the look of the place she hasn't been here for long. "It may take a while to explain, you may not understand—"

"Oh, trust me, I think I'll understand" she says, her voice suddenly harsh. "I majored in Psychology, you see, I think I can understand the general concept!".

My Dad puts his arm around we suddenly, as if he's expecting her to attack the woman. Seeing this, the blonde woman takes a more serious tone and gets right to the point.

"We haven't really determined what happened to Matthew yet, although he is awake. It's obvious to us the he recently suffered a severe psychotic break, but his mental state was clearly degrading very quickly just before. He couldn't have been going on like this for very long. As for what caused it, I would hazard a guess at some sort of traumatic event. When Matthew 'passed out', we believe everything that was happening was too much for him and his brain simply shut down as a coping mechanism. Much like how someone might pass out from pain. Before all this though, as I said, Matthew's mental state was slowly disintegrating".

"So you're saying Matt didn't know what he was doing?" my mother says desperately. Of course, it was her job to know these things, but I figure that she doesn't think she's in any state to make that decision.

"There were probably very short periods of time, which began to decrease towards the end, where he panicked and realized what he had done. But before he could do anything, he was sucked back into it. He was a prisoner of his own mind".

My mother nods. She begins to cry again, but not in the way she did before. Tears silently roll down her cheeks, and she covers her mouth with her hand. My Dad rubs his hand up and down her arm as if he thinks she's cold. "Where is he?" he asks quietly.

Instead of answering my Dad, the woman turns to me. "Are you 'James'?"

I freeze for a second. How does she know my name? I don't speak, I just nod.

"Matthew's been asking for you".

I don't respond. Asking for me? How could be be asking for me! The boy I last laid eyes on could barely string words together!

"M–me?" I stutter. He tried to kill me only a few hours ago, what could he want?

"Yes. He's not really asking, he just keeps saying your name over and over. He's scared, his memory has been damaged. There's a chance he doesn't even remember you, but we're trying to help him. Seeing you could be good for him".

Without even waiting for an answer, she gives me a slight push from behind to lead me away. I look desperately to my Mum and Dad, hoping one of them will stop this, but they don't. And I know it's because they want to see Matt get better too. The woman leads me out to the hallway and into the room right next to the one we were in. I suddenly realize what section of the hospital we're in: the mental health ward. They think my brother's crazy. Maybe they're right. She takes out a key from a ring in her pocket, opens the door and signals for me to go first. I don't see Matt at first. There's a man standing in the shadows, watching the small form that's sitting at a table in the middle of the room. I almost jump when I see the small form at the table is Matt.

His eyes are completely unfocused, and in a way he almost seems like he's shrunken down on himself. It looks like he's aged twenty years since the last time I saw him. The blonde woman pulls out the chair on the other side of the table, signaling me to sit down.

"Why did you kill Dawn?" I whisper immediately as I sit. This question had been pressing on my mind for a long time. I know he meant to kill me, that Dawn wasn't even pronounced dead yet; I hadn't been planning to even ask him this question. It just slipped out. But Matt doesn't respond, he doesn't even look at me. I might as well be alone in the room. "I'll never forgive you if she dies" I finally say. I wasn't planning on saying this either, but I might as well get it out there now.

Suddenly his eyes snap up, looking straight at me. "…You promised" he says quietly. For a moment I'm confused, I don't know what he's taking about. Then he pounces over the table, knocking it over, his finger wrapping around my throat. I try and resist, try and get away, but he's too strong. His thumbs press into my windpipe, my breath is being squeezed right out if me. "You promised, James!" he screams one more time until someone, the large man who had occupied the corner earlier I think, rips him off of me. I back up along the wall, shocked. My throat stings, but I suck in air gratefully. I don't look back at Matt, but he's screaming something at me. I block him out, and it takes my shaking hands a moment to turn the door handle. I had been expecting it to be locked, but I'm grateful it's not because I can't stay here another minute. I burst into the hallway, not even looking back, and run straight outside. The rain has picked up again, and the cold drops sting my skin, but I don't care. Grief explodes inside of me like a grenade, tearing me up inside until I feel like something broken and bleeding. My ankle stings from my run here, and there's a terrible pain in my throat, but I don't care. Everything's just been taken from me! My brother, my best friend. In one night, I might lose both of them. Sudden anger hits me full-on. I don't know who I'm angry at. The world? Myself? Matt? Before I know what I'm doing I whip around and punch the thing closest to me, which just so happens to be the brick wall of the building. Luckily I was never really a good fighter, and my punch is weak, and although I tear the skin of my knuckle I don't think I've broken anything. My hand stings, and all of a sudden it hits me. I did promise. I promised Matt something a long time ago. I crossed my heart that I wouldn't stop him if he tried anything like this, and I broke that promise. I shut my eyes to keep the moisture that's accumulated in my eyes from steaming down my face. Fallon men don't cry. I don't cry.

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

I live on their terms. I'm awake when they want me awake, and I sleep despite the fact I want to be awake. I do what they say, it's what they want, and it's the only thing that keeps me alive.

They killed them, I know it. They killed my Mum and Dad. They killed James. They're going to kill me too, as soon as they get what they want. I don't know what they want, so it's hard to make sure they don't get it. I don't know how long I've been here. I don't know why I have such pain my my leg and shoulder. I don't know why the world is always hazy. They don't tell me anything. I don't know anything.

I don't know where I am or why I'm here. I don't know how I know James, and I don't have a single memory of my parents. They must have taken it away from me. They want me this way. _"Paranoid"_ they say when they see me; when they talk about me like I'm not there_ "Possibly developing a case of schizophrenia"_.

In other words, they call me crazy. I'm not crazy. They killed my family. They took everything from me. They want to see me suffer. They're monsters, not me. I'm not a monster. Today when they decide to wake me up they also lead me away. I'm not allowed a pair of crutches, so I have to practically drag myself down the long, maddeningly white hallway. They take me to a room I haven't been in before, and I catch the word _"psychologist"_ as I'm lead down the hall. They let me in, but the large man I was following doesn't go in with me.

When I picture a psychologist, I think of a middle-aged balding man with glasses; he's old and overweight. But the woman who sits at a desk before me is young, with sky-blue eyes, hair the color of sunshine and childishly pink lips.

"Hello Matthew" she says kindy. She indicates me to sit opposite of her. I don't. I fear if I do it would only be easier for them to kill me. It would show weakness. When she sees this she stands up and comes to me and offers me a hand to shake; I don't take that either. "My name is Dr. Shay" she says.

Doctor? Why do I need a doctor? I'm not sick! At least, not yet. Not unless these people make me sick.

"I've been waiting to meet you" she says kindly, talking to me as if I'm a child. I shift me weight onto my good leg. "You're my first patient, I'm new".

She smiles, showing off perfectly straight white teeth. It's like she's rubbing my face in her perfection. "So Matthew—may I call you Matt?".

I nod. I think that's what I used to be called, it seems familiar. Of course, that's all I really go by; if things seem framiliar or not. I'm sure that if I looked in the mirror even my own face would be nothing more than vaguely familiar.

"So Matt" she continues "What's your story?".

"My story?" I finally say. What does she mean? "I don't have a story".

"Everyone has a story" she says sweetly "Tell me about anything you think you know about. Tell me about James".

James. That name isn't attached to a face. But I know that I know him. I know he's dead. But when I think about it I feel the deepest kind of betrayal when I remember his name, the kind of broken trust that can't be fixed. But I know I cared about him once, or at least I used to. "Shut up!" I yell at her "you killed him!".

"James is very much alive" she says calmly "I promise".

"Liar!" I yell. She keeps speaking, but I keep yelling at her "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!".

Suddenly I whip around and sprint to the door. I had expecting it to be locked, but it gives as soon as I try and open it. I sprint down the hallway, my leg and shoulder screaming in protest. I only make it a few feet until someone grabs me, and I'm shoved back into the room of which I existed in before I met this Dr. Shay person. I don't make it to the small bed on the other side of the room. I fall to my knees right there, because I know.

They didn't kill James.

I did.

* * *

**Please review? **


	11. Trust

**Review Replies:**

**mozzi-girl: Awwww…really? Thanks so much! Coincidentally that was my chapter part to write so far :) Thanks for the review!**

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* * *

**James Fallon**

I don't see Dawn the next day. Or even the next. She won't allow it, she told one of the nurses that she didn't want to see me. Is she angry at me? Is she dying and doesn't want me to see? I don't know, and for some weird reason, I almost don't care. I don't care about anything anymore. I feel like my emotions have been sucked out of me. Shouldn't I feel something? Anything? I don't know if the state I was in shortly after Matt tried to strangle in is any better than the one I'm in now, but I almost want that back. I want to feel something, I don't want to feel hollow. I find myself hiding from the world; I don't want to answer any questions. Surely word of what Matt did has been spread around by now, not that I would know. I've been slowly cutting myself off from everybody. I stick to secluded corners in the library and empty park benches. I don't want people coming up and asking me about Matt. I know what they'll ask._ "How did a good kid like him end up like this?"_ or _"How did someone who grew up in a good home, with cops for parents, become a criminal?"_. Or worse, I fear they'll blame the rest of my family. _"That boy had a profiler for a mother! How could this have gone on so long?"._

There are two answers to all these questions. One is something a profiler could give me. The other is the one I'm still looking for. I could easily go home to avoid these questions, but my house is often empty now. I can't bring myself to stay there, wallowing in it's suffocating silence.

Two days after Dawn's been shot I'm fed up with waiting, and make my way to the hospital myself. It's over and hour's walk away, but my parents are too busy trying to get help for Matt all the time, since his recovery isn't going well, that they hardly care what I do now. By the time I get there I'm sweating from a combination of the heat and the long walk there from my house, and I must look crazy when I go to the front counter and demand to see Dawn.

The woman stares at me for a second. She must know me as the _"crazy boy"_'s brother. The one who was always soft-spoken and quiet. Well, not anymore. After a moment she says "Go ahead, room 245".

Without looking back I stomp down what I think is the right way, not even thinking about how easily she gave up the room number this time. My heart thumps in my ears, but I don't know why. I don't care anymore…do I? I look for the room number and spot it quickly, and a second later I barge in. I look around, searching for Dawn, and at first I don't see her. She has her nose buried in a magazine.

"James?" she says, rather shocked when she sees me. The color has returned to her face, and her dark hair is clean and swept out of her face. Her eyes shine like silver coins. "No offense…but you look like crap" she says with a smile.

I almost hug her right then and there. It's the first genuine smile I've seen in days, and I even manage to give her one back. Then I remember why I was so angry earlier…she had pushed me away.

"Where were you?" I almost yell "Why did you push me away like that?".

She shushes me "Not so loud! We're in a hospital!" she says, stating the obvious. She sits up in her bed a little, wincing in pain as she does so. I suddenly feel aweful, this is all my fault after all. "I didn't want you to see me while they had me under those heavy pain-killers, okay?" she almost hisses. "I don't react well to those. I had a bad experience with a dentist, let's just put it that way".

I don't look at her. She shouldn't need excuses, it's her choice if she doesn't want to see me or not. I had forgotten the only reason she's here is to repay a dept, nothing more. "I'm sorry" I say quietly, turning away from her.

"For what?"

"I'm the reason you got shot".

I turn to her, seeing her large blue-grey eyes have softened. I hate it. I don't need her pity. "That wasn't your fault. And remember, I'm fine! None of my organs were horribly damaged, so there won't be any long-term damage".

"What about your parents?" I ask. Surely they've been informed that their daughter has been shot. "Are they mad?".

"Furious" she answers "But it'll be fine, as soon as I'm up to it I plan on going home".

So that was it. She was leaving me. Her debts were repaid, so she would disappear without even telling my mother who she is.

"I want you to come with me" she says after a while. Is she serious? She want me to go all the way out to Florida with her? "My parent's are coming home early from their conference, and they said I could bring you along. Then later we'll all come with you when you fly back out, and your mother can meet my parents. I can't tell her who I am now, she has enough on her mind". If I were closer surely she would have put a comforting hand on my shoulder, maybe spoken a little quieter. But she can't get out of bed right now, and I'm on the other side of the room.

"I think it would be good for you…to get away from everything" she says eventually.

I nod. Not a yes, or a no. You can't distrust a nod.

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

The girl sitting across from me slides something across the desk between us. I don't look down at it at first, I just keep staring at the girl. Shouldn't I know who she is? She claims I see her here every day, but I don't remember her. I don't remember being in this room before. I glance down at what's sitting before me; a book.

"What is that?" I ask, leaning back in my chair as if to get away from it.

"It's yours, you write in it. You've been having issues retaining memories, this helps you" she says kindly.

I take it. The first thing I see is what's written on the cover in big black letters.

'_DON'T TRUST JAMES'. _

I don't know who James is. Did I really write this? When I flip through, I can see several pages are filled. Some are neat, others in big letters like what's written on the cover.

"How long have I been doing this?" I ask.

The woman flips her warm blonde hair back. She reminds me of a summer's day. Her eyes as as blue as the endless sky, and her hair reminds me of days when the sun's so warm it covers you like a blanket. It's refreshing, since I'm not allowed outside. "About a week".

"Did I really write this?". I can't believe that I did. How could I? Half of it looks like it was written by someone who's absolutely mad.

"Yes. You've had good days and…well, bad days".

"And today? Is this a good day?" I ask.

"Yes, toady is a good day".

"And what would be a bad day?".

She reaches across the desk, flipping through the pages until she comes to the one she wants. A frown is forms on her face. I look down at the page. Some of the words are written very large, like a child wrote them.

'_Maybe I should just curl up and DIE. Then they'll be HAPPY'. _

"Why would I…"

"We don't know" she says sadly. "But for right now we're just glad today we can speak with you rationally".

Rationally? What kind of animal wrote this? "What do you mean?" I say. I can hear my voice rising. "So tomorrow, I could wake up and turn into this?" I gesture down to the page.

"Matt…it's not like that. You need help, you're getting better…".

I just stare at her. I need help? Did I do something that brought me here? Did I do something wrong? "I did something" I say. I don't make it it question. "I did something bad…that's why I'm here".

She sighs. She must normally be quite beautiful, but I think it's early in the morning; not that I would know since there are no clocks here. There are bags under her eyes and she yawns every few minutes. "Do you remember doing anything?".

"No…not exactly…" I pause. "What did I do?".

"I can't tell you that". She shifts her weight slightly. For the first time I realize why there's always a large man standing behind her.

"Did I hurt someone?" I ask.

"Sorta…" she squirms. What did I do?

"That's not an answer" I grumble angrily. "If I hurt anybody, I shouldn't even be here! Who knows, one day I could turn into this—" I gesture to the book again "—and end up hurting someone else!".

"Matt, sit down" she says harshly. I hadn't noticed that I had even stood up. She gets up and grabs my arm, trying to calm me down. I realize, unlike the others, she cares. She gives a crap. I don't know if it's because it's her job, or if she really cares; but I push this thought away immediately.

"What about you? What if I just turned into some animal and hurt you?". It's true, she is really tiny. I'm fairly tall, but she probably barely breaks five feet.

Her face hardens. "I'm stronger than I look, trust me. Plus, you're injured".

It's true, I do have a bad leg and sore shoulder. I almost don't want to know what it's from. After a tense moment I sit back down, and she does too.

"Don't I have any family?" I ask "Anyone who would want to see me?".

"You do, you have a family who loves you very much" she says. She seems very happy that I asked. "You don't remember them at all?".

Had I remembered them on other days? Better days? I point to the cover of my book "Is this James person related to me?".

"Yes. He's your brother. You remember him?".

"No, but apparently I can't trust him". She frowns at me when I say this.

* * *

**James Fallon**

_"Mum?" I yell as I walk in the front door of my home after school. The house is totally silent. I throw my backpack on the couch. "Dad?". _

_I walk to the kitchen, checking if anyone's there. No one. Wait…what's that on the floor…?_

_"Dad!" I drop to my knees, crawling to the bloody figure that's lying on the ground. He's been shot at least five times in the chest. I instinctually put my hand elbow his chin, checking for a pulse. He's dead. "Dad!" I yell again, and despite the fact that he has no pulse I still try and shake him awake. The knees of my jeans are quickly soaked with cold blood._

_That's when I see the second body. My mother is slumped against the wall, a single bullet in her temple. My first thought is that my Dad died trying to protect her. "Mum!" I yell, even though I know she's dead. But before I can cross the room to her I hear a yell; a boy's yell. Matt's yell. _

_"Matt!" I scream, jumping to my feet. Before I know it I'm sprinting up the stairs, beyond caring what danger lies ahead. Not caring that I'll probably not be much help. "Matt I'm coming!". _

_I take the last few steps two at a time in my hurry, but by the time I reach the top of the steps I know it's too late. Matt's on the ground in the hallway, a large cut on his head. A large figure stands above him, holding a gun to his temple. For just a brief moment his eyes meet mine. His lips, which are covered in blood from a cut on them, mouth two words. "Goodbye, James". _

_And then there's a great cracking sound that seems to shake the world. I cup my hands over my head, I'm barely aware that I'm screaming. The figure turns to me, but I can't see his face. _

_"No!" I take a step back, and forgetting the stairs are right behind me, I tumble down like a rag doll. When I finally reach the bottom my mind is so muddled, every inch of my body hurts. I try and get up, but I can't. My arms won't allow it. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. _

_"No…" I say softly. _

"James?"

_I look around. That was Dawn's voice. She's going to help me. She's going to rescue me. I franticly look around, but I don't see her. _

"James?".

I jerk awake, sucking in air like a drowning man. It takes me a moment to register the constant noise of the engine, the dark clouds outside my window. I'm not home. I'm on a plane. That's right, Dawn's recovered enough to travel. It's been over a week since she's been shot. We're going to Florida. We're going to her home.

The light in the plane is dim, and most people are asleep. I don't know how I fell asleep, probably because I've barely been able to catch even a few hours of sleep ever since Matt was institutionalized. What just happened now is why. When I look over to Dawn I see she's one of the few people not asleep, and with the light of a small flashlight she's reading a magazine of some sort. Her eyebrows are raised, her lips pursed. I must have woken woth a start, or even said something in my sleep. She looks almost angry. Of course, she's already mad at me. She wanted me to say goodbye to Matt before I left. But I wanted to escape, or rather, I had to escape. It wasn't a choice. Saying 'goodbye' to Matt would be about the same as saying 'goodbye' to a chair. He wouldn't understand me. I doubt he ever would again. Dawn hasn't said anything about it, but I know she'll bring it up eventually.

"What?" I snap after a while.

"Just wanted to make sure you're okay…" she says.

"I'm fine" I lie angrily, breaking eye contact with her. If there's one thing I learned to do since I met her, it's how to lie. I may not be able to fool everyone, but this answer seems to be good enough for her because she doesn't say anything again. I feel a little bad for snapping at her, since she is the one who offered to get me away from everything; but I don't say anything else. '_Are you okay_'…what a stupid question! Of course I'm not '_okay_'. My own parents barely care about me anymore. Normally I wouldn't have even been able to go on this little 'trip' with Dawn, my parents would argue that they don't even know her parents. But do they care anymore? No! All they care about is if stupid Matt can even talk to anyone without trying to strangle them. I've been shut out. I don't care. Or at least, I don't want to care. One day, maybe, they'll realize that Matt isn't going to get better. Then maybe thing will get back to as normal as they can be now.


	12. Going Home

**Just as a head up, I will not be able to review any stories or update for the next few days. I'm going on my first vacation EVER! *excitement* So most likely I'll drop off the face of the Internet for a while. If I have Internet I'll try to read and review; but no promises. **

**Review Replies: **

**_mozzi-girl_: (Molly) Thanks so much! James is 16, and Matt is 17.**

**_BreezyFan_: (Lisa) Thanks a lot! **

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

I'm curled up in fear, sitting in what I think is the safest corner of the room. How did I end up here? Where is everyone? I try and make myself small, try and sink into the white wall behind me and disappear. The door on the other side of the room opens, and for a wild second I'm expecting something horrible and animal-like to appear. But it's not, it's a woman. Behind her is a rather large man. I don't know her, but at the same time I do. I don't have any memories of her, but I remember one thing she must have said to me once.

_"Call me Haley. Doctor Haley Shay"._

That's her name. Haley. But that doesn't mean she's not trying to hurt me. That doesn't mean she's not going to kill me.

"'Morning Matthew" she says cheerfully. She sits down on a chair on the other end of the room; one I hadn't noticed was there before. "A pipe burst in my office, so we're stuck in here today".

I glare at her. What is this, an interrogation? Is she trying to get information from me? Is that what the man is for; to rough me up if I don't talk? I can see something in her hand, a small book. Slowly, she crouches down near me and puts the book on the ground close to my feet. She smiles at me good-naturedly, but doesn't come closer. She reminds me of a hunter, trying to coax it's pray into thinking it's safe. When I relax she'll go in for the kill.

"Go ahead, pick it up" she says a little too sweetly. How dumb does she think I am? I'm not taking her bait! She frowns at me when I do nothing. "It's okay, Matthew".

No, it's no 'okay'. It'll never be 'okay'. She took them away! My Mum, my Dad, James. They killed them! And they're going to do the same to me, just as soon as they get what they want.

"Please Matthew, it'll be alright. I promise, just make it easier on yourself". I stay frozen. "Please. You have problems with your memories, Matthew. If you look at that, you'll remember".

Remember? What do I need to remember? Why wouldn't I know my own life? I remember school, friends, family. Birthday cakes, trips to the sea, showing James how to skip stones and ice cream on the sand. I remember track meets, school classes and races won. I remember the sunshine, the rain and the occasional snow. I remember the Christmas when I was eight; the snowman and ornaments on the tree. But oddly enough…I don't remember waking up this morning. I don't remember Haley. I don't remember coming here. And I know it's because _they_ don't want me to know. It's because they want me to be afraid and confused. They want to see me break.

After a moment Haley sighs, looking rather disappointed. "You're not going to talk today, are you?" she says. I don't respond, and after a while she reaches down and grabs the book. Without looking at me, the large man opens the door for her and she starts to walk out. Now's my chance to escape! I may not get another one for a long time. Ignoring the deep ache just behind my knee, I spring up, heading straight for the door. The hulking man sees me first, and reaches out to grab me, but with reflexes like a cat I rear back and kick his shin with my right foot. It barely fazes him, but there's a split second for me to get away. Before she can even turn around I shove past Haley, shoulder-checking her into the doorway and bursting into the hallway. I look around…and I see that there are at least a dozen men just like the one I kicked in the shin milling about the hall. Where am I, some sort of prison? I stayed out of fights at school. I couldn't risk getting injured for track over some stupid little quarrel. But I know I'm going to have to fight my way out. I'm not ready for this.

Everything seems to be in slow motion and slightly distorted, like I'm watching everything through water. Several faces look at me in shock, but about half haven't even noticed me. But before any of them can make a move the one I kicked in the shins grabs me from behind. Panicked that he might stab me in the back, I struggle; then half-fall as I launch myself off of him with my legs. He staggers back, and I scramble for purchase on the slick linoleum floors. Two men, one a few feet behind the other, charge towards me. I brace myself, making it look like I'm about to take the first one's charge full on, then pull away and flatten myself against the wall as he runs right past me. I hear a satisfying crunch and take a moment to look back; he's run full-on into a janitor's cart. Now for the second one. I've never been in a fight before, and I'm not sure exactly what to do next, but luckily adrenaline makes me act without thinking. Like football player; I crouch down in a fighting stance, keeping my head up and planting my feet firmly in the ground. When the man comes at me full-on, going for a tackle, I elbow him hard in the ribs and turn myself around. Unfortunatly, in what's most likely am anger-induced accident, he manages to punch me full-on in he face.

I always thought getting punched would hurt, but it doesn't. Well, not at the moment of impact. It's like my brain switched off my senses so I don't get overloaded. At that moment I feel invincible, like I can get out of this alive. I detect movement in the corner of my eye and duck, just missing the reach the man who fell into the janitor's cart made to grab me. I whip around and shove him hard in the chest, and to my surprise this catches him slighty off-guard and he stumbles back right into the man who punched me. I can feel blood run down my face, but I don't care. I can take care of it as soon as I'm free. I turn back around to see more men, who are all wearing the same thing as the men I just fought; white scrubs. They just stare, and I can't imagine what I must look like. Crazy probably.

I feel like an animal, aware of every sound, sight and smell; ready to fight or flee at the slightest sign of trouble. Someone else comes at me, ready to attack, and before I know what I'm doing I grab the figure by the collar and get ready to punch. But I faintly realize I'm grabbing a suit-jacket, not the cotton of someones scrubs. I'm about to punch Haley. She cringes, bracing herself for the punch. But I can't do it. I don't know if it's because I know her name or what, but I can't hurt her. That moment of hesitation is my mistake. One of the men grabs me from behind, pinning my arms down. I thrash from side to side but it's no good, I'm trapped. I feel the prick of a needle somewhere near the crook of my elbow. There is no pain, but something worse. A creeping numbness through my body, the sensation that I'm being damaged beyond repair. I put the last of my energy into one more pathetic bid for escape, and manage to push off with my legs. The wall-like man behind me doesn't budge. The last thing I see is Haley, a look of pure disapointment on her face. The room goes dark; although from the ringing in my ears, the pounding in my chest, and the dull thud of cold pain as the floor comes up to meet me I know it's not the lights.

* * *

When I open my eyes the lights are too bright, and I have to snap my eyes shut almost as soon as they ease open. I can hear voices, muffled but at the same time loud enough that I wish they would go away. The left side of my face stings, and there's a deep pain that runs down my spine. I try and shift my weight to get more comfortable, but I stop as soon as I feel the cold sting of an IV in my arm. Maybe I shouldn't have fought. Maybe it would have been better to sit somewhere and stay very still; then maybe they would have left me alone. Still, even that probably wouldn't have saved me. Eventually the door on the other side of the room opens, and a scrawny man in a suit walks in. His glasses are perched on the end of his nose, there's a clipboard in his hands and Haley trails behind him like a faithful dog. The man in the suit looms over me, studying me like I'm a piece of meat.

"I'm telling you, there's no way he can go to a court hearing anytime soon" Haley says dully, as if she's been saying this all day.

"Dr. Shay" the man says gently "you're new here, and in no position to challenge anything. The boy's a criminal".

The last sentence hits me like a train. I desperately try and think of any way out of it, any way his words aren't true. But that last sentence is like a scream in my head that won't stop echoing. It couldn't have been me…was I framed? I would never do anything that's against the law! Sure, I've broken rules at school, but that's different! What he says can't be true!

After a moment the man steps back, then says to Haley "Why don't we talk outside?". She nods, them throws me a look of worry as she follows him out. I'm left behind, unable to move. My bones feel like they've been turned to lead. Surely I can't be the criminal…it's them! Not me! It's whoever sent me here that's the criminal!

Outside I can hear more voices, but I hardly care. I reach up, trying to yank the IV from my arm. There's no way I'm letting them pump me full of whatever they want, already I feel like they've broken and tamed me. But my hands are numb, and I can't seem to even find it on my arm. I can't get my eyes to focus, and after a minute I give up. What would I do even if I could escape? There's no way I would make it even a foot down the hallway, especially not in this state. And what would I even do if I was free from this room? My first thought is to get to the roof, do the unthinkable so they can't get to me ever again…but to be honest I don't think I could bring myself to do that. Oh well, it doesn't matter. They took everything I care about away…my Mum, Dad and James. I don't even know what I'm fighting them for, I don't have anything left to go back to. All I can do now is wait to die, which shouldn't take long. No matter what they do, they can't keep someone who wants to die alive.

* * *

**James Fallon**

The morning mist hasn't even cleared up by the time I set out. It's early, but as I sneak out the back door I catch a glimpse of Dawn's mother. She's shorter than me, with dark skin and eyes; her long hair in cornrows. She's taking the trash out, and as I cross the yard and go out the door of the fence her eyes lock on me. As always, she looks like she wants to say something, but instead acts like she hasn't seen me. I know why she does it; Dawn must have told her why I'm here. About what I did to Matt. She doesn't know what to say to me, which is fine by me.

I've been at Dawn's house for three days. Surprisingly, I've barely spoken to her or anyone in her family the whole time. I think Dawn knows I want to be alone; so she leaves me be. I don't stay in the house during the day. Even though it's large, too large for the little family of three that lives there, it feels like a coffin to me. I can't stay there, or I feel like I'll go mad. Luckily their house is right on a strip of beach, which is so vast in both directions I can walk down it and never be found. Sometimes I want to keep walking and never come back. Not that Dawn's family is unkind; because they are. The few times I've seen Dawn's mother she had spoken kindly to me. And Dawn's father, a dark-haired man with slanted eyes, always gives me a reassuring smiles whenever I see him. But I know everything they do, every kind gesture they make, is all fake. Dawn must have given them warning that I'm not taking Matt's institutionalization well. They're trying to be nice to because they feel bad for me. Well, I don't need that. I've had enough of that from the looks people gave me at the hospital the few times I visited Dawn. I have enough pity to last a lifetime.

I clear the yard and go straight to the sand just beyond, staying well away from the water and heading right. I still have sand in my trainers from the past two days, but I hardly care. I can keep walking in this direction all day and no one can stop me.

Well, that's what I think, until I feel something cold and wet on the back of my hand. I turn around to see a dog, medium sized with light gingery hair, standing behind me. It's a little Shiba Inu, Dawn's dog. He barks, and I freeze. The thing follows Dawn everywhere, and wherever he is she can't be far behind. I try and shush him, but I can't remember his name to give him a command. I doubt he would listen to me anyways; I was never really good with animals.

That's when I hear it, the sound of someone clicking their tongue. The dog stops barking and turns to the figure emerging out of the mist behind us. It's Dawn, I can tell from here.

"Ichigo!" she calls, and the dog turns and trots towards her. I don't dare move, and a second later Dawn and the dog have caught up to me. For a while we walk in silence, neither of us speaking. Ichigo walks slightly ahead of us in the mist, like some kind of ghostly spirit guide.

"Where on earth–" I say quietly "–did you come up with a name like 'Ichigo'?".

She beams, clearly pleased that I'm actually speaking for once. "My Dad got him for me from Japan when he was staying in Kyoto a few years back" she says "'Ichigo' is Japanese for 'Strawberry'". She nods to the dog. I'll admit, his fur is a bit of a red color. Sort of Strawberry-Blondish.

After a while Ichigo, as if wanting us to follow him, heads towards the water. Dawn seems to panic for a moment, then starts to run towards where Ichigo disappeared to. "He can't swim!" she says desperately. I run after her, and she leads me out to a small fishing dock, but Ichigo's nowhere to be found. I frantically look around, until I see a little red form in the water; happily paddling through the waves.

"Why…" I turn to Dawn to ask her why she would lie; but I know as soon as I see her face. She wants to talk to me alone, somewhere where she can almost trap me so I won't run off.

"I just wanted to ask you how you were doing" she says in a sugar-coated voice that's so unlike her own.

"I'm fine".

"I think we both know that's a lie" she says sharply.

"Really, I am. I couldn't care less about what the rest of my family's doing" I respond a little too forcefully.

"I know you care, you're not made of stone after all".

Anger flares inside me. Who does she think she is to act like she knows? "Yeah, well, maybe I wish I was".

"Oh, so you'd rather feel nothing at losing your brother? Forget him completely? You have to feel, James. It's natural. You're still human. You have blood and bones. You have a mind and feelings, and everything that you've done doesn't make you any less human. It doesn't turn you to stone. It may seem bad now, like there is no way out if this, but there is". She stops, and for a moment I think she's done. "You're strong James, I know you are. I know what you've done. You grew up knowing your parents might not come home one day. You moved up a grade when you were only seven. You stay up late every night, because your greatest fear is of the unknown; of someone coming to take everything you care about away. You had Aspergers syndrome, but somehow you beat it".

My heart stops for a moment. When did she find out? Did she become suspicious when I panicked while she was looking through school medical records for Sayu? Or has she always known? "You knew?" I manage to choke out.

"I've always known. I'd be stupid not to pick it up; and I did my research before I started looking for you. You have a tendency to slouch. You make a greater effort to pick up on social cues, which is why you read people better than most. You're a little clumsy, and are almost obsessed with becoming a detective". I look down at me feet in shame. What do I do now? Is she going to act like every teacher I've ever had who's known; treat me like I'm retarded? Like I'm stupid or ignorant? "But I don't care, in fact, I admire you for it" she continues "When you were diagnosed as a child, your mother couldn't accept it. She took you out places, taught you all the social behaviors you wouldn't normally pick up on. In a way, you were trained to be a profiler from childhood. It's in your blood and your brain. You beat your disorder, and you kept it a secret from everyone. Socially, I don't think anyone would know you have it. But it's why you're so smart". She smiles rather sheepishly. "All this stuff I know, it makes me feel like a creeper. I know more about you than the friends you grew up with, but yet, I don't even know your middle name. I couldn't find it on any file, and I couldn't find your birth certificate for some reason".

"It's Kenneth"

"Huh. Not what I was expecting. You don't look like a James-Kenneth-Fallon" she says with a slight smile.

"I was named after my dad's best friend, but he died long before I was born" I explain. "Now since you know mine, what's yours?".

Dawn's cheeks burn so red I swear anyone within a mile radius of here could see it through the mist. "Natara. My birth mother never gave me a middle name, and my adopted parents thought it would be appropriate".

I nod, leaning against the side of the dock, watching Ichigo try and chase a seagull not far ahead of us. For the first time since I started suspecting Matt, I feel relaxed. Like I'm not running from my problems anymore.

"I know about the nightmares" she says eventually "Do you want to talk about it?"

Nightmares. What sixteen year old boy complains about them? But I have the same reoccurring ones every night. My parents dying. Sometimes Matt kills them, sometimes Matt is killed also. Sometimes I dream that Matt is dead. That he took his own life, or he was killed that fateful day. Sometimes Dawn dies. Sometimes it's myself, but during those dreams I always manage to take someone with me.

"I don't know what you're talking about".

"James…just stop. You're a terrible liar. It's okay to talk about it. You've been through a lot recently, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about".

But I do feel embarrassed about it. I can't just wish that feeling away. "Dawn…just stop. I just can't…".

"Talk to me, James. I want to help you".

"I don't think you can".

"Please…".

Her eyes widen and she tilts her head to the side in concern. But for some reason this just ticks me off. How does she even know about all this? What is she, a mind reader? Without another word I walk away, leaving her behind. I hear her call after me, but all I yell back is "Just go away, Dawn!".

"No, James, listen to me!" she sprints across the sand, and I can see a very wet Ichigo making his way towards us. She catches up to me, quickening her pace so she can keep up with me. "I feel like I'm losing you. The real you. What happened to the level-headed genius I used to know?". There's the slightest hint of sarcasm in her voice. I'm reminded forcefully of my father. "This isn't you. I know what you're going through. I understand. I want to help you. Please—"

Anger boils inside me again. Why can't she just leave me alone? Doesn't she get it? My family's being torn apart! My whole life is ruined, shattered like glass! "What do you know? Little-miss-rich-girl has everything she wants!" I snap. It's mean, but it's true. She has two parent's that love her, a big house, good grades and a faithful dog.

If what I said hurt her at all, then she's very good at hiding it. When she speaks, her voice is soft. "I know what it's like to have everything taken right out from under you. I know what it's like to find yourself questioning everything, even your childhood. I know what it's like to feel like life is spinning out of control".

This does nothing to calm me down, in fact, if anything this makes me angrier. Doesn't she get it? Whatever she went through isn't the same! "What do you know? Nothing! You'll never understand!" I snap.

"Oh, I won't? Fine then! Go sulk by yourself. Keep acting like you're all alone, like I didn't even try and help you! I want to make you feel better, but if you don't want that, go on and keep acting all misunderstood! Fine by me!" she practically yells. I freeze. It's the first time I've every heard her this angry. When I look back at her…well, all I can say is if looks could kill I would be dead ten times over by now.

For a moment we just glare at each other, but I can slowly feel my anger leak out of me. I wish I wouldn't have shouted at her; she's only trying to help.

Suddenly, she starts to laugh. More of a snicker really, but a laugh all the same. "Look at us" she says eventually "We're fighting like an old married couple".

Before I know it I'm laughing too, not so much from what she said, but because for the first time I actually feel like one day things will get better. She's given me hope. We walk back to her house, Ichigo at our heels, both of us happier than when we left. The fog is clearing up by the time we reach her house, and as I reach over to unhook the latch on the gate she very suddenly puts her hand on top of mine.

"I know it hurts right now" she says with a gentle smile "but sometimes pain is the only thing letting you know you're still alive".

Before I can respond the back door bursts open, and Dawn's mother sprints out to us; the house phone in her hand.

"J-James" she stutters. She bites her lip, clearly unsure how to get out why she wants to say. "It's your brother. H-He's dying".


	13. Whispers

**Hey guys, I'm back! My holiday was great! I was was at the beach with a friend, and I found out I'm completly obessed with CoD. I was freaking out when we went to go see the marina and I found myself looking for all the characters names on souvenirs at a shop. I even got a henna-tattoo somewhat similar to Kai's (only on my arm, but unfortunately it's not real. It's just a dye that stains your skin for a few weeks). O.o **

**Unfortunatly I'll be taking another break from fanfiction again, as a family thing just popped up. I should be back in a few days. Anyways, thanks to _mozzi-girl, Oryt_ and _Katlana Child_ for the reviews! **

* * *

**James Fallon**

I sit with my knees drawn to my chest as I sit on the bed in the guest room at Dawn's house. All my things are packed, and it's only a matter of time until Dawn and her parents are ready also. The door to this room is locked; I don't want anyone, especially Dawn, coming in here to see me. I'm afraid I might explode, fall to pieces or both if anyone so much as looks at me the wrong way. Things were finally getting better, I really thought life was about to move on. I guess not; I guess life will never move past Matt for me. Only a few weeks ago I had the world in the palm of my hand. I already applied to every college I could…but would any of them even take me anymore? Who knows, maybe I'm crazy just like Matt. Maybe I'll fall apart and end up just like him.

"James?". There's a slight knock at the door. It's Dawn. I keep very still, pretending that I've left the house again. "James, I know you're in there. You left the light on".

"Darn it…" I mutter under my breath as I get up and open the door. Might as well bow to the inevitable, she won't leave until I talk to her anyways.

As soon as I open the door I feel someone throw themselves at me; and after a moment I realize Dawn has thrown her arms around me as if afraid I might be taken from her. "No matter what happens—" she says quickly. For the first time I realize how tall she is. She may have a rather small and thin frame, but she's a little on the tall side. She's barely a few centimeters shorter than me, and with the way she stands her head is buried just below my chin. "—I'm here" she finishes.

I don't respond. I don't even thank her or hug her back. What's the point anymore?

After a moment she pulls away, looking me in the eyes as if she can physically see which part of me is broken beyond repair. "Wanna help me get Ichigo in his crate?". She says kindly. I know what she's doing; she's just giving me work to keep my mind of things. Well, while it may not make me feel better, at least she'll think it does.

"Why me?"

"Because Ichigo likes you"

"The dog likes me?"

"First off, he has a name you know" she says with a kind of affectionate attitude. "And secondly; yes, he does. He's usually afraid of strangers, but he came right up to you yesterday".

I sigh, pretending like this bothers me. Pretending like I care. "Fine" I say.

She nods for me to come, and I follow her through the halls of her house without a word. She leads me through a part of the house I haven't been to yet, and I look around without really seeing anything. Nothing that I look at really makes an impression on me, like my brain is too full to remember anything. At the end of the hall she enters what I assume is her room. It's large, painted a beautiful dark green color. Ichigo's laying across Dawn's bed, snoring. There's scarcely any furniture, making the room seem even vaster than it really is. But almost immediately, my eyes are drawn to the opposite wall. Almost the whole thing is filled with newspaper clippings, and every one is about the same thing. My parent's names and faces jump out everywhere; some printed from the computer, some hand-written in short-hand notes.

"Now you see why I said I feel like a stalker" Dawn says quietly.

I keep looking around, taking in the features of the room. When I look behind me I see a small piano, a real wooden mahogany one. I glance over to Dawn, who's getting Ichigo's crate out of the closet, and walk around the room, idly tapping the keys of the piano as I walk by to see if it works. As I do I'm greeted by a pleasant chiming sound.

"You play?" Dawn says when she turns around, setting Ichigo's crate on a nearby table.

"No, but it's essentially all math. I know the method" I respond "Do you?".

She gives me a slight smile "That might be the nerdiest thing I've ever heard". She crosses the room and sits down at the bench by the piano. "And yes, I do play. My mom made me learn, I always hated it though".

Slowly, almost absentmindedly, her fingers reach across the keys; skipping across like giant jumping spiders. She plays a rather low and sad tune; and the whole room falls silent. Even Ichigo stops snoring, and he sits and listens with his ears perked up. But Dawn stops almost as soon as she started, or maybe it just felt that way because the sound she was producing was beautiful enough to change time. Without another word she gets back up to grab the crate. I watch her curiously as she does. So the tough, tattoo-adorning, shoot out-surviving girl plays piano. Huh. It gives me a little reminder that I really don't know her that well; after all, I didn't even know her a few weeks earlier. But yet at the same time I would give my life to save her, and she would do the same for me.

* * *

I lean back against the exterior wall of my house, taking in the slight summer breeze that barely makes it back here. I push myself a little farther down the roof; just a little closer to the edge so my feet dangle above the ground. I can stay up here all day; and no one could find me. Not that anyone's looking.

I come up here a lot; here on the roof. No one can see me up here. I just simply crawl out the window from my room and here I am. Luckily my window looks out to nothing more than the small patch of our backyard and the back of another building; so I'm completely isolated up here. And thats's fine by me.

No one else is home; and I myself have only been home for a matter of minutes. Somewhere Dawn and her family are getting settled into their hotel, and here I am. On a roof. The front door is unlocked and I left my window wide open; but I don't care. Even if some unknown assailant came after me for some reason; I think part of me would welcome it. It sure would make things a whole lot simpler. At least, for me.

"…James…?".

I look down to see Dawn just below my feet, her eyes large with worry. Why is she here? She's supposed to be back at her hotel!

"James…what are you doing?" she says gently. Of course, she thinks I'm thinking about jumping. But I would never do that; it would be selfish. Plus, two floors isn't enough.

"Would you relax?" I snap "I'm just siting up here!". She sighs with relief, despite the fact that I just snapped at her. I try not to think about how I've spoken more these last few weeks with Dawn than I probably have my whole life. Of about how I've never raised my voice and yelled at anyone before either. Oh well, who cares of anyone sees this side of me? Maybe this is who I really am now.

"Mind if I come up?" she says eventually.

"Front door's unlocked" I grumble, figuring I might as well tell her. No matter what I answer, I know she'll end up here with me either way.

She leaves and a second later I hear the front door open and close, and soon after I see her head pop out the window. "Will it hold us both?".

"I guess".

Without another word she crawls onto the roof, wincing slightly from the tenderness in her abdomen, and sits down right next to me. "My Mom and Dad are getting a rental car, they'll be here any minute to pick us up. The we'll head over to…Where Matt's staying" she says eventually. Her voice falters slightly in the middle; she doesn't want to say the word 'institution'.

Matt had been transferred into the institution, which was just another branch of the same hospital he started out in, just before I left. I know my parents didn't like it; the case that had brought my Mum here involved a corrupt mental institution. They weren't allowed to see Matt, since they were afraid it might excite Matt too much, but I know for a fact they were keeping a close eye on him.

Dawn kicks a small pebble off the roof, sighing as she does. It must have rained yesterday, because there are puddles on the small dips that the shingles make. I can see my reflection in one nearby, and I stare at it a long time. I start to get that feeling like when I look at one word for so long, I start to question if it's spelled right. Only now I'm wondering if the person staring back is really me; and how long I can go on staying the same person.

"Isn't it funny" Dawn says eventually "how such little things can change our lives?". She kicks another pebble. "I mean, if my parents had picked any other kid to adopt, who knows what kind of life I'd be living". She looks up at the neighboring building, but her eyes are unfocused. "We all want control in our lives, but we can never get it. Maybe to some extent we can…but never fully".

I look down at my feet. I know what she's getting at; that none of this is my fault. But if it's not mine, then who's is it? Certainly not my parents; they couldn't help whatever disorder Matt has. And Matt couldn't control himself; so I can't blame him.

"You know what's funny?" Dawn says, apparently just trying to get me to talk now. "I know every little thing about you; but not really you as a person". I don't see her turn to me, but I can practically feel her gaze pierce me. "I know you said, or rather I said and you agreed, that your greatest fear is of losing everything. But everyone is afraid if that. There has to be something that's just you".

How am I supposed to answer that? I'm certainly not the bravest person in the world…I'm afraid of a lot of things. "I don't think there is".

"There has to be something. For example, I'm deathly afraid of dying". She shifts her weight, clearly uncomfortable. "I almost drowned when I was eight. I just…I can't even describe that feeling. The feeling when you think you're about to die".

There's a long pause, and I almost feel obligated to answer honestly. "I guess I'm afraid of myself. I'm terrified that there's something wrong with me. Something deep down that's so broken no one can fix it".

"You're afraid of becoming like Matt".

"I'm afraid of Matt becoming what I'm afraid of".

Suddenly I feel like a great weight had been taken off my chest, like I can finally breathe again.

I hear the sound of someone pulling into my driveway, and a second later the honk of a horn. I look up to Dawn, and I can see that her eyes are wide with concern. "Are you ready for this?".

Ready? I'll never be ready. No one can really prepare themselves for something like this. "As I'll ever be".

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

I want to open my eyes, but I can't. A voice in my head tells me I can't; that dead people can't open their eyes. And since I am dead, I cannot open my eyes either.

I still want to open them, but I can't seem to remember how. I will them to open, pray for my vision to work again; and slowly the blackness starts to break apart. A weak stream of white-silver light makes it's way into the vision. There's no warmth accompanying it; but it still chases away the chills that run down my body.

My entire body is gripped by freezing fire, but I force myself to focus on the light. Is this what people see before they die? Is that what this means; that the end is near? I don't care if it is, the light can take me anywhere it wants. Anywhere is better than here.

I welcome the light, wishing that it's bright fingers will wrap around me and take me away. But almost as soon as I think this the light fades away, dropping me back into darkness and pain. Then suddenly the deep ache that seems to have gripped my entire body fades, the agony replaced by a sickening warmth I know is nothing more than my mind trying to spare me as my life slips away. I try to scream, to to yell for anyone to make it stop, but it's too much. The world slips, shutters and falls away.

* * *

Voices pull me back out of the abyss. I don't try and open my eyes again, but this time try and cling onto the sounds around me. They're the only evidence that I have that I'm still alive. My body trembles and throbs, but at least this is proof that I still have a body.

I can't hear what the voices are saying, but I recognize one of them. It's my Mum; she's here with me. She sounds upset, almost afraid. Am I sick? That sounds about right, maybe I'm really sick. Then, just like when I was little, I'll wake up and she'll be there to tell me I'm safe.

Then I hear another voice; one of a very young woman. Haley. Everything comes back like a splash of icy water; I am not at home. I may or may not be sick; but either way I am trapped and dying.

But either way, I don't care. My Mum is alive. She's breathing and speaking; and she's alive. I don't know if my Dad or James are still alive; but at least I have one thing left. I try and call out to her; but death's icy cold fingers seem to grip my throat before I can. I try and get away, bury myself back into the warmth behind me and hide from the fear and pain; but before I can even begin to fight it I'm pulled right back into cold oblivion.

* * *

Voices greet me as I wake for what I think is the third time. Pain hammers at my temple, and I focus all my energy into trying to listen to the voices; but I can't. They're too far away. But I can hear the fear and panic, and I know I need to be awake. Something is happening.

Someone is holding me tightly, thin but strong fingers are wrapped around my shoulder. The knowledge that someone is here with me floods my brain with adrenalin, and this time I manage to open my eyes. The light is still there, not the least bit timid and emanating from florescent bulbs in the ceiling. I blink, red veins splashing across my vision. I can see shadows, two of them, on either side of me. The shadows focus; then take a familiar shape.

My Dad is on one side of me, my Mum on the other. They're alive. Somehow, miraculously, they're alive. They weren't killed like I thought. I was wrong, I do have something worth staying alive for.

"Matt?". I try and get up, but my Mum's hand remains on my shoulder, keeping me down. My muscles scream in protest as I move, like there are needles in every one of my nerves. I try and keep still as possible so the pain won't flare up again; but it doesn't work. It's too much, and darkness begins to creep up on me again.

"Matt…" I hear my mother say. Her voice fades, and I can only hear the first part of what she's saying "You're going to be okay…".

And the last thing I think just before everything slips away again; is that I believe her.

* * *

**Please Review?**


	14. Threats and Promises

**Hey guys, I'm back! (Again) So I hope to finish this story in the next two chapters, and tomorrow I hope to start another story. Review reply: **

**mozzi-girl: Thanks for reviewing! And yeah, I did get a tattoo, but not a real one. It's just drawn on with a semi-permanent dye that'll last for about two months. (I wish it was real). Anyways, my family's all good. We've been having a tough few years and we just took a little trip to get away; no biggie. Thanks for your concern though. And thanks for reviewing! **

* * *

**James Fallon**

Memories flood in as we enter the front doors. They're in the smell, that constant stench of sickness and disinfectant. In the all-too bright florescent lights up ahead. I feel Dawn nudge me from behind, but my legs might as well be bolted to the floor. What will I find when I see him again? Will he try and kill me again, pushing past whatever plagues him to make sure I draw my last breath at his hand? Or will he be nothing more than dust and vapor; the ghost of the boy who I grew up with?

"James, it's okay" Dawn says. She gives me a little push; and this time I somehow manage to put one foot in front of the other.

"We'll wait out here" I hear Dawn's mother say behind us. I briefly turn to see her bony face, her reassuring smile. I feel like I'm walking to the gallows.

Dawn nods, saying something to her parents in a low voice that I can't hear. I keep walking, leaving her behind. If I stopped, I don't think I could get myself going again. A second later I hear Dawn's quickened footsteps behind me as she catches up. I know exactly where to go, even though I've only been here once; on that fateful day. Some things you just don't forget. Still, if it weren't for the slight prod from Dawn every time I showed hesitation, I don't think I could keep going. I turn the corner, about to enter the corridor of the section Matt's in; when I almost collide full-on with another person. I would have kept going, simply ran the other person over in my dream-like state; had Dawn not grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me away at the last minute. I stagger back, looking around for whoever I had almost collided with.

It's the same woman I saw that day, the one who had been so flustered when my mother had demanded to know what was going on with Matt. Her thin eyebrows are raised, her eyes bore into me. I wonder if she recognizes me. Probably, since I'm exactly the same as I was on that day; scared and shaking.

"Oh, you're the other Fallon kid, aren't you?" she says with a sweet smile. I nod, too scared to speak. "And…you are?" she says to Dawn, still using the overly-sweet voice as if she's speaking to a child.

"What's it to you?" Dawn snaps. It's clear the woman's tone rubbed her the wrong way, because she glares at the woman as if she's just been horribly insulted.

The woman frowns "At the point, we'd rather keep visitors at a minimum. Family members only".

"Well, I'm his cousin" Dawn lies, smiling. The woman stares both of us down, her eyes darting from the paleness of Dawn's skin to the slight olive tone of mine. "You heard me" Dawn says sassily.

It's clear she doesn't believe Dawn, but since she has no way to prove it she motions for us both to follow her. We go the same way that she was coming when I almost knocked her over, and I have to wonder if she was sent to fetch us. Dawn keeps shooting me glances as we walk down the hall; but I'm not sure if she's trying to say something or if she's silently scolding me for not backing her up. But I ignore her, and just focus on keeping calm. If Matt is still in there, no matter how deep down, I need to find him. The woman stops just before a door, and for the second time I almost run into her. She very abruptly turns around; so suddenly that I'm startled. She has a rather grim look on her face, and as she opens her mouth to speak my mind jumps to every possible thing that could go wrong. Is she going to tell me to prepare myself; as Matt is on his death bed? Or maybe that there's some mistake, that Matthew isn't here and he never was?

"James, isn't it?" she says. Once again I nod, but at this point I'm surprised I can even will my head to move up and down. "You just missed your parents; but there was a message I was supposed to give you". She lets out a sigh, as if unsure how to form words. "I don't really know how to put this…but last evening a girl named Sayu Kagami was found dead".

I feel a lump form in my throat, but I force myself not to react. I didn't even know her. Still, I had seen her alive and well only a few weeks ago. I had never known someone who had died before. Sure, I'd spent plenty of time down at the station; and although most of the time it was hidden from my eyes I had seen pictures of the victims. And, just like any kid, I grew up seeing kids faces appear on the TV screen. I'd seen an endless stream of little boys and girls who's names would flash across every newspaper for weeks. After they stopped, you always knew one of three things had happened. They were either never coming back, found dead or somehow still alive. The first two were more likely than the last.

Still, the fact remained that she was my classmate. She was my partner in chemistry once a few years ago in school; and she seemed a lot like me. Soft-spoken and shy; but never hesitating when she worked. "How—" I choked out "—How did she die?".

Hearing the slight falter in my voice, Dawn shoots me a glance. She seems a little betrayed that I even care about Sayu; but there's a slight amount of pity in her gaze.

"I'm sorry. She took her own life; threw herself off of her apartment building. Her brother found her body shortly after. He tried to save her…but it was too late".

Her sky-blue eyes are wide and sympathetic, but she seems to be slightly perplexed by the difference in my and Dawn's reaction. "I'm very sorry" she said softly "You knew her well then?".

"No" Dawn says firmly before I can even draw a breath "We didn't. Matt did, but we didn't".

I try and pull myself together, try and look as indifferent as Dawn, but it's like Sayu's death was the last straw. It shouldn't affect me this way, but with everything that's been going on I can feel myself coming closer and closer to the edge of breaking. And right now I'm teetering on the edge.

"Is he in here?" Dawn says firmly; as if she really is family and truly has a right to be here. I have to remind myself this woman thinks she does.

"Yes…go ahead in. He should still be awake".

Awake? What are they doing to him that he wouldn't be? Is he just a puppet now; concious when he's wanted, asleep when he's not?

I must have made a face at this, or maybe I just look like I'm stuck; because the next thing I know Dawn's grabbing my wrist, tugging me towards the door. She waits until the woman's heels click away; the noise fading as she goes around the corner.

"Did you see her name tag?" Dawn questions me, peering around the corner. "She is defiantly way too young to be a doctor. At least, a real one. I don't buy into all that psychology crap—". She stops when she looks at me again; a look of concern spreading across her face. "You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost". I nod, but don't dare open my mouth. I'm afraid my voice might betray me and shake again. "Listen" she says confidently "It's all going to be alright, no matter what. Okay?".

"Okay" I manage to mutter, feeling like a child who's just been told it's too wet to play outside. Dawn roughly claps me on the back; the way I've seen Matt do to his male friends after they finish as race. She turns the handle for me, then steps aside so I can go first. My mind is screaming for me to go back, warning me of danger and rejecting the idea of even laying eyes on my brother. But at the same time my heart eggs me on. It tells me that no matter what, Matt's my brother, and nothing bad can happen.

I push the door open, but the lights are so bright that color breifly swims in my vision and I can't see anything. One of the first things I notice is a slightly bitter scent; the smell that people on medication sometimes have. After the color fades I see a table and chairs; all a pleasant tan color that matches the walls. My eyes lock on a figure sitting at the table, and I can see the figure do the same to me. The two heaven-blue orbs are large, unfocused almost. Skin that was once tanned by the sun is now pale; and hair that was once carelessly spiked now resembles the matted coat of a wolf.

When he opens his mouth to speak the voice is hollow; but at the same time there's that confident and somewhat sarcastic voice that I remember from not so long ago.

"James…" he says. I'm almost taken back that he knows my name, and I remind myself that this is my brother; not an animal. Not a monster. "James…I'm sorry".

His eyes meet mine. They've changed. They must have changed so subtly in the past few weeks that I hasn't noticed; but now their back to normal. That same clear cobalt blue that matches my father's eyes.

Only one thought bounces around in my head, one phrase that I cling to with hope.

He's back. My brother is back.

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

I can barely bring myself to look at James. I know what I did. I knew I did something; and Haley told me everything. I wrote it down, because with the way my memory is right now some days I wake up and I still think my family is dead for whatever reason. I don't know why I'm like that. No one does.

It doesn't surprise me that what I did cost me my sanity. I was wrong. I'm a horrible person. I'm a thief. I stole from people I loved. Not things that can be replaced; like money or electronics. I didn't break into drawers and cabinets; I broke into their hearts and stole something that can never be given back. I'm not some innocent victim. I killed little parts of people I care about; cut them up inside until they probably wish that they were dead. Not to mention the trail of shattered hearts from the loved ones of people I killed. I can't hide from what I did; I can't keep my demon's at bay anymore. I have to face it; no matter how many times Haley tells me it's not my fault, that there was something wrong with me that caused me to act the way I did. I should have been able to control it. I should have been able to stop myself.

I keep looking at James; keep looking at the one person who I trust more than anyone. Sure, he did break a promise, but I was what? Five years old, maybe? That doesn't count. But through all this he didn't give up on me; he stopped me before I could hurt myself any further. James doesn't quite look at me, but rather looks behind me; like there's a phantom of some kind over my shoulder. An older girl stands behind him, and I know that I should remember her, but I don't. She stands slightly apart from James, engulfed in what's probably the only shadow in the room like she's merely a spirit protecting James. After a moment of James and I staring each other down she stirs from her corner, putting a hand on James' shoulder and pushing him forward. His expression matches that of a dog being forced into the rain; and he slowly comes closer. I stay absolutely still, like he's an animal I'm trying to get to eat out of my hand. After what seems like an eternity he sits down, the dark-haired girl standing behind him and glowering down at me.

"I'm sorry" I say quietly again, because it's all I can manage. Who knows how much I hurt his future? It would have been one thing if I was hurting myself, but I was dragging everyone else down with me. Even my Mum and Dad had to work to the bone just to keep what I did under wraps. I can only imagine how big it would be if the son of two of the finest detectives in San Francisco became a killer.

"It's not your fault" James says so quietly, so uncertainly that I can barely hear him. I hate it when people say that. It is my fault. It's all my fault. I wish people would just come out and say it, then maybe I can accept it and and move on. Even if moving on means going to jail, anything is better than pretending none of this never happened. I may not remember it, but it changed me.

"Don't say that" I say, possibly even quieter than James. "It is my fault. All of it. I should have stopped myself. I should have done something—".

"There was nothing you could have done" James interrupts. Another one of those meaningless phrases. "But now you're going to get better. You may have to stay here for a while, there's no way they'll send you to jail in the state you were in when you came here, but someday you'll—".

He stops when he sees the look I'm giving him; an icy cold glare. The truth is that I'm not going to get better. James, although he's only a year younger than me, is too innocent. Whenever he visited the police station; all he saw was another puzzle to be solved. He didn't see son's and daughters, husbands and wives. He's too innocent to see any of that. And he's too hopeful to see me as the monster I am now. He hasn't seen me on my bad days, where I think everyone's trying to kill me and I fight back. He doesn't see the little cup of pills that comes every morning; the only thing keeping me from falling right off the edge of sanity. And if I'm only better when I'm drugged, then who am I anyways? I know I'm pathetic, weak. But not everyone can be strong.

James doesn't speak again. I can see that bags under his eyes, the tiredness in his gaze. I have to wonder if I'm the cause of it. I don't want to cause any more trouble anymore, but it seems I'm a bother either way. Can it really be so bad to run instead of fight? I know most people; my Dad, my Mum, James, Haley and my coach would say yes, but they don't have to live in my shoes. What I'm thinking may be selfish…but it's what I want. It's too hard. It's just too hard…

"Matt?". I look up at James. There's such concern in his eyes; he cares. He gives a crap what happens to me. The same is for my Mum and Dad. I couldn't do that to them; not now, not ever. "Do you even remember…what you did?" James says in a voice so quiet it's almost a whisper. I almost smile at this question. Not because of what he asked; but because James is just being James. Typical, soft-spoken James.

"No" I say "But I know. Haley—the blonde doctor who's in charge of me—told me. I wrote it down so I don't forget". Even though I say this, even though almost all of me knows I did it, there's still a little part of me that thinks that I didn't kill anyone. And who would listen better than James?

"James? Is it possible…that I didn't do it?".

When I say it out loud it seems even more real; like there's an even greater possibility that I'm not guilty. But James just shakes his head. "No, we know you did it".

"But what if I didn't?" I say, that little part of me getting stronger. "I mean, I don't remember it, so maybe—"

"Matt—" James starts, but I cut him off.

"Look at me, James!" I say, my voice suddenly gaining strength. James jumps, startled slightly, but the girl behind him doesn't even flinch. "Look me in the eyes, do I seem like that kind of person?".

The walls seems to snatch my words away, plunging us into unnatural silence. It's like the whole world is waiting for James to answer. "No, I don't. But whatever you have, whatever caused this, made you into that kind of person. I'm sorry, Matt".

That growing part of me seems to die in an instant, deflating like a balloon. I know from his tone he's not lying. I lean forward, putting my face in my hands. It's all gone; my entire future's been reduced to dust. I had a scholarship from track, but with my knee I'll probably never run again. I doubt I'll ever get to college now anyways, murderers don't go to college. Crazy people can't ever be normal.

After a moment I hear the chair across from me creak, and I know James is getting up to leave. Part of me wants to call after him, the other part wants to push him away. Either way, before I hear the door open I hear an unfamiliar voice say "Go on ahead, my earring fell out. I'm gonna look real quick".

James doesn't say anything in response, and I don't look up. At least, not until the scent of perfume becomes way too strong. I look up, seeing a pair of dull grey eyes staring right into mine.

"You listen, and you listen good" she says sternly "That boy is tearing himself up inside for you, and I'm not just going to sit by and watch that. If you try anything, anything that could hurt him in any way; I'll come after you. If you didn't manage to kill yourself before I get to you; you'll wish you were dead. You hear me?". I'm so shocked that I nod. There was a time that I would push back, but not now.

"Good".

"You-you care about James" I stutter, stating the obvious. She straightens herself up and takes an earring, which she clearly just took out of her ear, from her pocket.

"I owe him. Owe everyone in your family" she says stiffly "And I don't like to let debts go unpaid". She puts the earring back in as she talks. "You better not die on me, Matt. I won't allow it. If you die, you're killing that boy out there too". She nods to the door. "So take care of yourself. You read that book of yours, and at least pretend you're getting better. For him. And don't you dare get sick again".

I swallow hard. I could argue that I can't help it if I get sick again; but we both know that would be a lie. I thought it would be impossible to will oneself to die; but it's not. The body is a faithful servant, ready to stop when it's no longer wanted. There was nothing wrong with me, no illness that can be found in a textbook. But seeing that I did have something to live for, knowing that at least my parents are alive, was the cure. I came back.

As if she can see what I'm thinking about, she shakes her head and says "Don't do that again. Don't make him go through that again. If you don't do it for him…then do it for your parents".

Her grey eyes seem to look right through me; flashing with anger. There's something she's not saying. Although I don't know why she would be in my family's debt; I know this isn't the reason she's here. No matter what she says I know she's doing this for James because she cares.

The sound of clicking heels begins to fill the room, and the girl turns to leave just as Haley enters. Haley gives her a rather cross look. But the girl slips past her without giving her a second glance. Haley watches her go, and once she's out of sight she looks back up at me and smiles.

"How'd it go?"

I shrug. At least there wasn't yelling. Or the only thing that's worse than yelling; which was the disapointment I had seen on my parent's faces only an hour before. I look down at my hands, not meeting her gaze. I hear someone scream; but I don't look up. Those sounds are normal to me now; since there are plenty others just like me all over this place. I know for a fact Haley looks after at least three others. Still, at the sound of that person's screaming I tense. I can't help but wonder if that's what I was like. Or if there are days where I'm still like that. Seeing me tense up, Haley comes over and sits next to me, placing one of her tiny hands over my clenched fists.

"You're safe" she says softly, almost tiredly. "You know that, don't you? What happened before—none of that matters. Only you matter here; everyone here just wants to see you get better. Nothing that hurts you can come through that door".

Instinctually I look up at the door when she says this, expecting the see some wild and deranged creature walking along the halls. But the door is closed. She has such trust in it; that big piece of wood. It's like she doesn't understand that doors, walls, and ceilings are powerless at keeping out what determinedly wants to come in.

"Matt?" she says softly. "There's something I need to tell you. Something bad; so brace yourself". I've already braced myself, readied myself for every word of bad news that comes at me today. "Do you remember a girl named Sayu Kagami?".

Sayu. I don't know how I know her. But I remember her laugh, her smiles and frowns. I remember her mop of blonde hair, her dark brown eyes. I remember kissing her under a tree; I remember her calling out to me through a crowd of people. Just these fleeting memories; just these moments so elusive I can barely hold onto them. Did I love her? Did I tell her that? Is she here?

"Matthew…Sayu is dead".

"No…" I barely manage to mutter. I don't remember her much, I don't even remember if we were friends or not. But she was a classmate. I might have bumped into her in the halls; passed her in the cafeteria. "No…" I stand up, walking to the door. I don't know where I'm going; maybe to chase after James, maybe to find Sayu to prove that she's alive. Either way, I can't stay here.

"Matthew, sit down" Haley says sternly.

I don't obey. I try and turn the door handle; but it's locked. Haley must have locked it when she came in. "Unlock the door" I demand.

"No" says Haley, almost smugly; like she's a child and this is some sort of game to her.

"Unlock it".

"No. Sit down".

This time I obey. I don't really have much of a choice. "Haley…" I say quiety as I sit. "Am I going to go to jail?".

"No" Haley says confidently. I'm surprised at her certainty. "You may be my first patient, but I know how these things go. I've been an intern here for a while. When these things happen someone will come in and check on you every once in a while. In your condition I doubt they'll make you go to a court hearing anytime soon. Eventually they'll give up, say you have to stay here until you're better and that'll be the end of it. It may be hard for a while since you'll eventaually run into people who know what you did; but it'll be okay. I promise ".

I look back down at my hands again. I know for a fact I had a grandfather in jail; I don't want to end up like him. I had my whole life ahead of me; things I wanted to do. I'm not ready for that to be taken from me yet.

* * *

**Please review?**


	15. Gabriel

**Alright; this is almost over! The next chapter will be the last, and it'll be a kind of Epilouge-thing. I did not decide on the ending yet; I have two in mind but I didn't pick. I'm not going to say what they are, but I do have a happy ending and a sad ending planned. I figured I would just let you guys decide for yourself; so if you could leave a review about which ending you want that would be great! Review replies:**

**mozzi-girl: Thanks so much!**

**Oryt: Thanks a lot! Hehe…violence O.o**

**BreezyFan: Thanks so much! **

* * *

**Matthew Fallon**

Haley leaves for a while, leaving me to my own devices. But I don't move. I know what's going to happen as soon as she comes back.

It only takes about a half and hour for her to return; just as I thought. While I may not remember much from one day to the next; the routine is one of the few things that sticks with me. With her she brings two little paper cups; and she sets them both down on the table in front of me.

"Take it" she says kindly. She looks slightly disgruntled, and I can tell she's just come from being with another patient. I look down; one cup is filled with water, the other has five differently colored little pills.

"No" I say firmly. I'm done. I won't be kept in the little glass box they've kept me in anymore; I'm not myself anymore. I don't feel like myself. The girl from yesterday, however aggressive she came off as, was right. I need to take charge; and I say that my life starts again now.

Haley frowns at me. "Matthew, just take it. The faster you do, the faster you can get out of here".

"No".

"Take it!"

"No!".

She whips around, clearly already agitated from whatever she was going earlier. She paces to the back of the room, runs a hand through her hair and mutters under her breath "Dammit, Gabriel…".

"What did you just call me?" I ask.

Her head snaps up and her cheeks flush red "Nothing…I-I called you Matthew".

"No, you didn't. It sounded like you called me Gabriel. Who's Gabriel?".

"No one; just another one of my patients" she says a little too quickly. I can tell that she's lying.

"Who's Gabriel?" I ask again.

Her face gets redder; and she looks angrier than I've ever seen her. But suddenly her face breaks into a rather smug smile, and she slowly walks over to where I sit. "Fine" she says "You wanna know who Gabriel is?" she taps the table but the cups "Take this".

Slowly, I pick up the smallest pill I can find and hold it up to my lips. Haley looks at me expectantly, and I very slowly put it in my mouth and swallow.

"Gabriel was my older brother" she says "He's dead".

"How did he die?" I ask. She nods to the cup again; and I take another pill.

"Suicide; hung himself in his closet. He was seventeen".

"Why did he do it?". I know what to do even before she nods to the cups again; I take another pill.

"Borderline personality disorder. Doctors said he was okay; when really he wasn't".

"How old were you?" I ask. Before she even looks in my direction I take another pill.

"Thirteen. I was the one who found him; it was just before Christmas".

"I'm sorry" I say; suddenly realizing how rude I'm being. She nods towards the last pill; as if daring me to refuse to take it. I swallow it without protest. It all makes sense now; why Haley seems extra-determined to make me better. I remind her of her brother. I'm the same age he was when he died. Still, tomorrow I'll have to hold my ground. I can't become dependent on these pills; I need to get out of here as soon as I can.

"Haley?" I ask "When do you think I'll get out of here?".

She pauses, not really looking at me. "Not for a long time, Matt".

"I can't stay here; not for much longer" I say.

"You have to. You need help; you're not ready to leave".

I can feel anger, slightly muffled by the medication, boil inside of me. "Why are you trying to keep me here? I can't stay!".

"I'm not trying to keep you here!" Haley says, slamming her hands down on the table and nearly upturning the still-full cup of water. "I'm trying to keep you out of jail!".

And with that, she scopes up both cups, scampering out of the room as to make sure she has the final word. As she leaves I can hear the door lock behind her.

* * *

**James Fallon**

Dawn keeps popping her gum as she rocks back in her chair, every once in a while giving me rather satisfied smiles. I return them; it's hard not to. Things are different now. For everyone. And I'm pretty sure this change is good.

It's been three days since Dawn and I visited Matt together for the first time; and life seems like it's finally getting back to as normal as it can be now. Matt's getting better; so far he's been able to remember every day since my first visit. He may not be able to remember anything of his crimes or for about a week after; but maybe that's for the best. Still, he confessed that the memories of his entire life are a little hazy; but Dawn and I are more than happy to lend a hand. We even made a sort of game out of it; almost like I'm helping him study for something.

"Okay, which one of these didn't happen?" I ask "One; you punched a kid for calling me 'retarded' in fourth grade. Two; you skipped school last year on 'senior skip day', even though you weren't a senior. Or three; you tried out for the basketball team Freshmen year, but didn't make it because you tackled another kid".

Matt smirks, clearly knowing the answer. "Well, I remember punching that kid; since he didn't even fight back and I ended up getting suspended". I look behind Matt where Haley stands, watching us from a corner of the room. She smiles at me; as if I'm the reason Matt's getting better. "I remember Mum was furious when I skipped a day of school, and I hate basketball; so I'm pretty sure it's the third one".

I nod and he smiles, imitating Dawn's relaxed position and rocking back in his chair. I try and think of a question, but before I can say anytime Dawn speaks up. "Here's a good one…how did your parents meet?".

Matt rolls his eyes. What Dawn doesn't realize is that we both know this story well; having being told it so many times as children that eventually we just tuned it out. Matt nods to me "Our Mum was here in San Francisco on some case a while ago, met dad through work. If you've got about nine hours I can give you the details" Matt says sarcastically.

Dawn smirks "Come on, just tell me how they fell in love. I'm a girl…we like that stuff".

Matt shakes his head and smirks, then says "Well, our Mum was engaged to some guy a while back. Some lawyer or whatever. Anyways, while they were on some case our Dad managed to get himself shot, and our Mum nearly drove herself mad because of it. By the time our Dad was recovered this guy our Mum was engaged to decided to break it off with her; figuring he couldn't marry her since she clearly loved our Dad".

Dawn smiles "Aww…that's sweet. Beats my parents story; they just met on some internet dating site".

I hear the sound of my father's voice and instinctually turn around; knowing they must have just gotten off of work and come to visit. Dawn must hear it too, because she immediately stops rocking back on her chair and starts nervously biting her lip. It's obvious what she's about to do. As my parents reach the door they don't come in right away, but rather stand by the door; watching us. Just observing as we interact; acting like the kids that we still are.

Eventually, Dawn speaks up, talking a little louder than necessary. "Okay, which one of these isn't true?". It isn't really necessary for her to participate in the little game Matt and I use to get his memories back, but with the stories she tells it makes it more entertaining and helps us get to know each other. "One; my Dad grew up in Japan, and his sister still lives there." She takes a breath "Two; I have a cat named Ichigo". She glances over to my mother; who luckily is paying attention, and goes on. Her voice shakes, I've never seen Dawn so nervous before. "Three; when I was a baby, my real mother was killed…and an FBI agent saved my life".

I turn to my Mum, who wears a look of confusion on her face since Dawn in staring right at her. My Dad keeps looking from Dawn to my Mum, clear confusion on his face. Slowly, as if in a trance, Dawn gets up and crosses the room to my Mum. There's a moment where the two just stare at each other; where my Mum still tries to work out who Dawn is. She probably won't figure it out; since with her career she's probably saved countless amounts of children from their deaths.

Dawn's eyes widen, and I'm surprised to see that they're swimming with tears. A single drop of moisture slides down her porcelain-like cheek, and even from where I sit I can see her physically shake. "Y-you probably don't remember me" Dawn says shakily, barely choking out her words. "B-but I've been waiting my whole life to meet you. D-Dawn Mikami isn't my birth name". She brushes a wet clump of hair from her face "It's Dawn Potter".

Sudden realization take over my mothers face, closely followed by shock. For a second it looks like she's about to push Dawn away; insist that she's never known anyone with the surname 'Potter', or that Dawn is a part of her past she would rather forget. But after a tense moment my Mum bends down to meet Dawn's height, pulling the crying girl into a hug as if she were her own daughter. Even after my Mum inists to Dawn that it's okay, Dawn continues to cry. Not from pain or sorrow; but from joy. After a moment Dawn pulls away, and starts taking to my Mum. She tells her how she's studying to be a doctor; as if to prove to her that saving her had been worth it. My Mum just listens, nodding every once in a while. Clearly this has been a shock for her; but she smiles the whole time Dawn speaks. I'm glad for this; since her smiles have become so rare ever since Matt was been institutionalized. Her smile is like a rainbow after a storm; a reminder that the hardest part is over. That the storm is finally gone.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave a review and let me know which ending you want; the happy one or the sad-ish one!**


	16. Happy Endings

**Hey, welcome back! You guys chose the good ending; but a lot of you asked what the sad ending would be I'll just go ahead and put it here. In the sad ending Matthew improves too much, too fast; and remembers everything that he did. Driven by guilt; Matt kills himself. The rest is just James' reaction. Yeah, kinda depressing O.o Kinda glad I didn't write that one. **

**Katlana Child: Thanks so much! And thanks for voting!**

**mozzi-girl: Thanks a lot! And thanks for voting! **

**The Zebra Detective: Thanks for voting and reviewing!**

* * *

**James Fallon**

There's a certain sadness that hangs in the air as I go with Dawn and her parents to the airport. Her and my parents chat as they wait for their plane to be called; their luggage already loaded.

"I won't be gone long" Dawn assures me as she places Ichigo, locked securely in his carrier, on the pet rack.

"What do you mean?" I ask. I was sure that she would be returning to Florida, that I was never going to see her again. That I was going to lose the girl with the silver eyes.

She smiles, a rather mischevious look spreading across her face. "I'm moving here, James. I'm transferring colleges and getting an apartment here. You've seen where I live; that little gated-in community. This city's so much more exciting; I don't want to leave".

"Dawn" I hear Dawn's mother call. "Our plane's boarding, come along".

I look over to my own parents, who are waiting for me to say goodbye so Dawn and I can go our seperate ways. But I don't know how to say goodbye.

"I promise, it won't be long" she says again. She wraps her arms around my neck, just like she did that day we left to come here together. Only this time I hug her back, feeling the bones of her shoulder blades as my arms wrap around her.

"I'm going to miss you" I confess quietly.

"I'll miss you too" she says back. Her mother calls her once again, and in once fluid motion she lets go of me and puts a hand on my face; planting a quick kiss on my cheek. Before I can react she's gone, walking away and waving at me; leaving nothing behind but the warmth of her embrace, the slight scent of her perfume and the memory that she was once here.

* * *

Dawn keeps her promise, and finds a school and an apartment not far from my house. Within a week from her departure she end up coming back and moving in, bringing with her Ichigo. With her close we spend most of her first week living here visiting Matt, or occasionally walking on the beach in the cool evenings. She hasn't said anything about what she did the day she left, and neither have I. She doesn't seem the least bit awkward about it, and several times she looks like she wants to say something, but I always change the subject. Now's just not the time for things like that, to be honest I'm still trying to put my life back together.

One day, about a week after she moves in, we're sitting on the beach in the evening. Even though we both grew up around beaches; Dawn still insists on coming here every day. She claims things are different here, more exiting. As we sit in near silence I remember something she said from a long time ago; that time I asked her why she's going to school to be a doctor and not something to do with computers. She said everyone has two callings, and I didn't really give much thought to it until now. What's my second calling? Is being a detective really all life has in store for me, is it really the only thing I can be? It's still what I want, but the question is if it's what I really need. If it's something that I can keep doing; no matter what happens.

"Dawn?" I say quietly.

"What?"

"What you said before…about how you grew up to be a computer programmer, but still wanted to be a doctor. Do you think that it's the same for me, that being a detective is what was handed to me; and there's really something else out there?".

"You were actually listening to that?" she asks. I nod. "Huh, figured you weren't, considering I was patching up your ankle while I said it". She looks over the ocean for a second, where the light of the sun is slowly dying. "The thing is James, our situations were different. I wanted to be a doctor because I wanted to help people; even if it's just one person. Computer programers don't save lives on a daily basis. But what you want to do makes a difference. You'll matter. It's your dream; don't give it up". The sun sinks lower and the sky begins to darken. The air suddenly becomes very cold; and Dawn rubs her bare arms to try and warm them. I awkwardly put my arms around her shoulders, helping to keep the cold away from her skin. To my surprise she comes closer, resting her head on my shoulder. As the sun disappears I can feel the warmth of her skin at my side, and I can feel every breath she makes. I wish we could stay like this forever, that way I'd alway know that she's safe and sound. That her heart still beats and her lungs still draw in air. I want to spend my life with her, but whether as friends or something more only time will tell. I want to have more moments like these, more time with the girl with the silver eyes.

And who says that I can't?


End file.
